Well played, Mother Nature. Well played.

Dear Mother Nature,

I started this note yesterday but I figured, What the Hell?!?! And thought I’d finish it here. Thanks for the rain yesterday. It made my Long Run Oh So MUCH more interesting. As if running 20 miles on antibiotics with a sinus infection isn’t like a day at Disney in and of itself. Running 19 miles in a torrential downpour was fanfuckingtastic.

Character building, really. And you know I need a ill’ more character. I’m a goddamn Chip-Dale-Pluto-Minnie Mouse Hybrid ALREADY. But what’s a little more, right? Character is good for the soul. At least the rain washed away the current of snot running down my face. That is ALWAYS a plus. No chapped nose for me. No M’am. If Blowing Snot Rockets becomes an Olympic Sport, you can most definitely count on me medaling and rescuing puppies in the process if need be. (U-S-A! U-S-A! Blow Colby, Blow!) So thanks again! Oh. And Bee Tee Dub. Did you have a hand in my sinus infection too? Or is that another department? Please advise. I know every run can’t be all Glitter Rainbows and Unicorns. 20140427-152343.jpg But how about one? One. Run. That’s all I’m asking for. One run where I’m not soaking wet, frozen solid or blown to bits. One run that isn’t some Bullshit Bombogenesis Polar Vortex or better yet, how about one that’s only 15 degrees lower than the average temperature instead of 25? Here’s a fun fact I learned yesterday! Did you know that Glide stops working in the pouring rain? Yeah! How about that?! Know how I figured that out? When I hopped in a hot shower, borderline hypothermic and screamed like a banshee when the rubbing alcohol water hit my open wounds developed after hours of wet rub. No worries though. Scabs are sexy. Hot even. And the best part of yesterday? The piece de la résistance, if you will? Was you getting off your crabby ass and pushing the sun out as I made the right hand turn onto my street, exactly one mile from home. 19 Miles of Rain + 1 Mile of Sun = Joy. Nice touch. I can’t WAIT to see what sort of bullshit tomfoolery you pull on Marathon Day. Don’t go changing. You’re a peach. Really. You are.




17 thoughts on “Well played, Mother Nature. Well played.

  1. Wow! I am so impressed with your run, despite the weather and Glide mishaps! At least you’re prepared for anything on race day now – that’s a positive spin on things! No worries, it sounds like you’re due for a good weather run very soon! Happy running! xo Kelby

  2. Oh my god this is my life. I have a terrible cold this week, our weather just turned to crap this morning, and it’s my highest mileage week of my training. Tomorrow I’m going to have to do a 10 miler on the treadmill because they are calling for severe thunderstorms all day. Hopefully it will dry out for Saturday’s 20. I hope you are feeling better! This SUCKS!

    • Ick. It’s simply killing me. I was ELATED to run yesterday in SHORTS even though my legs were glowing and got so excited about heading out the door I tripped and fell. Flat. On. My. Face. Over the dog.

      Pearl Anne, my beagle, giggled.

      I feel your pain. It’s raw and cloudy up in here and it’s also my highest mileage week. May 25th is my marathon. WAIT. Is yours the same day?!?!?!


  3. Pingback: Ted Talk Thursday ~ The Evolution of Morality | In Da Campo

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