A Midspring Evening’s Hope

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Race Week. Finally. The Grand Finale just a mere 26.2 miles away. You’ve done the miles. (And still have the goddamn black eye to prove it. )This week, the runs are short. The body is ready. The mind? Well. The mind is what needs a little work. A little wrangling. A little Tough Love. Thank god for Tina. πŸ™‚

I’ve had to do a little more Mind Wrangling than usual this time around. Ever since The Fall Heard Round The Blog-O-Verse, I’ve been doubting myself. And I don’t usually do Doubt. Or Pity. I decide to do something. I work as hard as I possibly can. And I do it. Period. I will do it. There is no question. The End. This time? It was like a giant pin came out of a stormy sky and popped my whole goddamn plan. All that air, all that confidence went right out. {Cue Pity.} Instantly. And left a mark.

Then I went for a massage.

I am lucky to have a Massage Therapist who is truly gifted. Screw All the King’s Horses and All the Kings Men. She can fix just about anyone. No doubt. She is truly a genuine person, whom I also call a friend. She is a runner. And just about 100lbs. Yet she can make you sweat and whimper with one touch of her little finger. Regardless, you will feel 10 times better after seeing her. You will feel more open. Less stuck. She brings awareness. Not just to the body, but to the mind as well.

We got to chatting. As we always do. She has run the KeyBank Vermont City Marathon handfuls of times. It’s her favorite. Lately she sees things in a different way. A profound loss will do that to a person. And she has suffered a heart breaking one. But yesterday, she was Herself. For the first time in a long time. And it gave me hope. Her fog was lifting. She lit up talking about her marathons. About her love of running. About the joy and appreciation that comes from being out doors, pushing yourself beyond your perceived limits, and just letting go! Ahhh that feeling! Appreciate your body and what it can do!

Because not everyone can “do.”
She knows that firsthand.
And I needed to be reminded of it.

Most people run one marathon. And cross it off their list. You haven’t just run one marathon. You have run seven. SEVEN!

It was the way she said it. And in that moment, it hit me. My god. I have, haven’t I. I am healthy enough to have run 7 Marathons. And I’ll run an eighth. So all this wallowing in a sea of self-pity? Come ON Colby. Get over yourself.

Just Zip It.
Be Thankful.
And Run.

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33 thoughts on “A Midspring Evening’s Hope

  1. I predict you are going to have an epic, life changing run. I feeeeeeel it in my hippy dippy Californian bones, OK?

    Your 8th! Rock Star!

    I’m whimpering and whining about the training commitment on my blog tonight. HA!

    • I’m giggling. And turning a corner. I am. Pinky swear. There’s a point in training for me when it becomes a chore. A real chore. That coincided with the fall which brought out the whiny bitch within. She’s gagged and bound now. As she should be. πŸ™‚

      • Good!! I am hitting the point myself where it feels like a chore. Largely because WORK IS INSANE and the dual drags on my time… I am tired. So so so tired. When this is over, I am sleeping for 2 days. (Then getting back on the road for oh the 3 halfs in a row in late August and the marathon in October. This is my idea of fun.)

      • HA! Work always gets in the way of life now, doesn’t it. It is FUN! Phew. I’m so glad we’ve found each other. Us Crazies need to stick together. πŸ™‚

  2. I’m glad that your massage put everything in perspective for you (does that mean you can write it off as a therapy for insurance purposes?). I keep just such a sentiment close to my heart, especially because so many of the people with my disease can’t, or think that they can’t. Whenever I’m having one of my bad moments of unhappiness with my running/;fitness, I remind myself to “run for those that can’t”. It has fueled my best race times, and picked me up off the floor mentally.

  3. Well, the hay is in the barn, as they say and you’ll never be more ready than you are right now. Put on your high heel sneakers, fasten your seat belt ( In the unlikely event of a water landing the person seated next to you can be used as an approved flotation device) and Run One For the Gipper. Have fun.

  4. I think, more than anything, I needed to see this today…”I am healthy enough to have run 7 Marathons. And I’ll run an eighth.”

    The most important part of that quote is “I am healthy enough to have run” but you can insert a dictionary of words in for “run” and that is what I am thinking today. Awesome.

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