Tapering Out Loud

I’m officially Tapering.


How in the name of The Tarahumara did THAT happen?

Good grief. Did I even train for a 50k? I can’t remember. It’s all a goddamn blur. My legs are exhausted, so something happened. I feel stronger, so I’m guessing the hill repeats worked. I have a case of The Nerves already, so the VT50 has got to be close. It’s kinda like being in college. You know when you wake up hung over, in last night’s clothes, on your buddy’s futon with a mustache drawn on your face in Sharpie?

Kind of like this…


Me, muttering: I guess I had a good time?

{Staggers to mirror.}

Me, bellowing: Oh yeah I did!

It’s kind of just like that actually. A big old: WHAT. THE. HELL. Why didn’t someone stop me before it was too late?? So over the next two weeks I solemnly swear I will make a valiant attempt to keep my shit together. Here is the plan: The way I see it, it’s going to go one of two ways.

1. Lighter, quality runs. Some hill repeats. Core work. Paws up. Lotsa sleep. And an increase in carbs.


2. Several anxiety attacks. Self doubt. Phantom aches. A hysterical breakdown. Insomnia. And an increase in carbs.

Either way, I’m ready. πŸ™‚

How do you combat The Taper Crazies? What is the one Taper Ritual you do every time? Have you ever woken up with a mustache drawn on your face? {Fact: I have not. And here you thought I had. Silly Rabbit.}

NEWSFLASH! Tina and I are on Twitter!!! I know. Welcome to 2014 Girls. Follow us on Twitter! Here we are!

33 thoughts on “Tapering Out Loud

  1. Almost there! There is the third option – ‘a little of column A, a little of column B’. They wouldn’t be called the taper crazies if there wasn’t a bit of nutso behaviour in there! All the best for the race!

  2. I have never woken up with sharpie on my face. But you knew that, didn’t you? I think you are going to do all of the above for the next 2 weeks and Thank God Metro North found my phone so I will be available for texting. I don’t really know the Taper Crazies, because I only did it once. I actually don’t remember it at all, which makes me think that one of my kids was kind enough to get pinkeye/lice/Swine Flu to distract me during that difficult time.
    PS You’re going to do great. Read and Repeat.

    • I remember your taper, Crazy Pants’ and no, your kids did NOT have some sort of weird affliction. You’d better be tethered to that phone lady! You’re on speed dial!!!!

      Of course you didn’t wake up with Sharpie on your face. Lily would be horrified. πŸ™‚

    • And there I was looking for a meme of a passed out kid with a mustache and I found that EPIC ink blot. I can’t even imagine how you go about getting that off. Dermabrasion? Sand paper? Skin grafts? That’s way worse than tapering.

  3. I used to hate the taper. Now I embrace it with open arms. The Crazies? That’s another story entirely. Basically, I avoid the topic at all costs. Because, sure as shooting, no matter how many marathons I’ve run, as soon as I start thinking about marathon day, first I get really excited and then I start thinking about all that could go wrong (you know, Murphy’s Law and all that) and next thing I know my excitement turns to anxiety, my stomach turns into a ball of knots and I’m caught up in the dreaded Crazies… So… as I said, the only thing I’ve found to combat the Crazies is to stay busy and avoid the topic altogether! Good luck Colby! Can’t wait to start calling you “ultra runner” and to join the ranks myself next spring πŸ™‚

    • You’re right. The First Rule of Tapering is We don’t talk about the DAMN THING AT ALL! I am keepin’ busy! Christ. I may even wind up cleaning my house for a change. So much time on my hands! And thank you πŸ™‚ I have to admit, I got a little misty eyed thinking of “Colby” and “Ultra Runner” in the same sentence. Here’s to the finish! And I can’t wait to hear about your journey!!!

  4. Ahh you’re so close – hopefully you can keep the anxiety attacks to a minimum πŸ™‚
    I’ve definitely woken up with sharpie on my face..and my feet. I had a habit of passing out in hallways in college…
    So glad you ladies are on Twitter! But what about Instagram?!

    • Baby steps, Amber. Baby steps. We’re gettin’ there! I figure I needed to get my hand on tweeting (because I suck at it) before a full on media assault. Nothin’ like a good “snooze” in a hallway! Ahhh those were the days. Here’s to minimal anxiety attacks! πŸ™‚

  5. bahahaha!!! A sharpie tuxedo hahaha really … you crack me up chica!!! Your post are definitely must read stuff just for the pure humor of it all. One of my routines during tapering is to watch the ESPN documentary on the Michigan “Fab Five”. Not many other strict regimens really. Happy tapering chica annnnnd ummm try not to clock anyone lol πŸ™‚

    • Minimally I want to make you smile. I’m happy to do so! πŸ™‚ That’s funny that you watch the ESPN documentary! I have a bunch I’m considering watching on Netflix!!! It’s either that or blast “Eye of the Tiger” all day every day…..

      Maybe I’ll stick to Netflix. πŸ™‚

  6. I thought they call them Schaapies up where you live as in ” Bawby, pick up the Schaapy on the cahpet.” My taper was simple. I just stopped running 10 days out and ate a lot of chicken and spaghetti. Good luck.. You’ll be swell, you’ll be great, gonna have the whole world on a plate.

      • Where I live it would be more like, “Vell, throw the horse out the vindow some hay now would ya?”
        I’m crushed you missed my last line comment reference. I was expecting a schnappy comeback.

      • I was on the my trainer spinning my ass off, sweating all over my touch pad.


        That sounds bad.

        Anywho, you whacky Gypsy, I couldn’t form a schnappy comeback. I was anaerobic (thus the typo ‘me should read ’em.) πŸ™‚

      • Nice going. I should have never doubted you. You will be swell. I’m hoping to run for the first time in 6 weeks on Friday afternoon. This should be interesting.

  7. I didn’t really experience taper crazies with my first two half marathons because I didn’t really train for those….I feel like this third time around though, I’m starting to get the crazies a bit early. I still have four more long runs to go, with the longest one being a week from this Saturday, but I’ve recently started having weird things happen that I’ve dubbed “post-running brain”. It’s very similar to pregnancy brain. It didn’t start until this month when the runs all reached over 6 miles, but I’ll do silly things or forget things for the next 24 hours or so. Oh yeah and I randomly started crying a bit when I started thinking about Angel Mile (mile 12 of the Columbus Nationwide marathon…..it’s even tougher during the race to not be a sobbing mess for that part)….then again when I started thinking about “the gong” that they’ll have this year to let you ring after the race to mark a PR. ENJOY YOUR TAPER TIME!!!

    • I feel you Corinne. I ROUTINELY bust out in tears. In fact, I lost it on tonight’s run thinking about the moment I pass 26.2 miles. That’s I chartered ground. Gah! I’m getting choked up writing this!!!! Good luck training! And I’ll try to keep my shit together! πŸ™‚

  8. I’ll be right where you are in a few weeks-my first 50K is in early November. I plan on just freaking out and eating cookies the entire time I taper so there’s that. πŸ˜‰

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