‘Twas the Night Before Race Day

20141126-222452-80692928.jpg‘Twas the night before race day, when all through the town
No sleep would be had by the runners around;
Their race clothes were laid by the door with care,
In hopes that a PR soon would be there.

The rest of the world – they were snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
But for runners like me, sleep would not come,
We tossed and we turned until up came the sun,

Only then did our bodies succumb to a nap,
But then – BOOM! Our alarms went off like a slap.
We frantically pulled our clocks to our faces,
To make sure we hadn’t slept through our races.

Next: Check the weather. Sunny or Snow?
Running through heat or twenty below?
Even though we’d stalked the forecast forever,
We needed that last minute check on the weather.

Time to get dressed, get stressed over layers,
Yes, it’s cold now, but what about later?
Sure we can shed some clothes as we go,
But where goes the damn race bib? We know it must show.

Once our wardrobe is finally complete,
It’s time for the Glide and to deal with our feet!
Glide is easy: everywhere it goes
More difficult is dealing with feet and with toes.

Long or short socks? Compression or not?
Too risky to try the new ones we’ve bought?
And no matter how much we adjust our right sock,
There’s a bump in it that feels like it’s hiding a rock.

Next come the sneakers, a whole different stress
One wrong lace and BINGO! Your feet are a mess.
First they’re too loose. Then they’re too tight.
On race day they never ever ever feel right.

Next up: some food, though it’s barely daylight
And who wants to eat when it’s still kind of night?
So we choke down bagels, maybe oatmeal instead,
And toss back some coffee to wake up our heads.

Breakfast is over, so now we must pack
Some fuel to eat for a mid-race snack.
Chompers or gel? Sport beans or Gu?
Too many choices, so we just grab a few.

We’re dressed! We’re packed! We finished our meal!
Time to head out – shit’s getting real!
But of course we cannot just head out the door,
Without visiting the loo, at least one time more.

Off to the race site, time to check in,
Stare at the elites – those guys might win!
Then straight to the porta potties – get in a line,
We know that is where we will spend most of our time.

After spending quality time at the John
We realize the moment has come to move on
And make our way over to the starting line;
Adjust our Garmin and pacebands one final time.

Do a few stretches, hand to your heart,
As the national anthem signals the start.
Excitement builds, you’re ready to burst,
Whether it’s your fiftieth race or your first.

The countdown begins and off goes the gun,
It’s finally here – the race has begun!.
So we look up and wish on the new morning star,


38 thoughts on “‘Twas the Night Before Race Day

  1. Lookit you all clever and shit.
    I am barely through my coffee and you just wrote The Great American Running Poem.
    I even think I forgot to brush my teeth. I am so inadequate.

    THIS WAS AWESOME. And it’s why we’re blogging partners in crime. And BFFs. My poem would have been a filthy limerick.

    There was an old broad from Nantucket.
    Who was late to the race and said “Fuck It!”
    She sat in a bar.
    And drank a boxcar.
    And when she was done she upchucked it.

    There. My morning is complete.

    Can’t wait for our weekend T-Bone!!! xoxox

    • Just change the second line to “Who finished a race and said “Fuck it” and I think your limerick well summarizes our planned post-race antics, Clever Girl! Lookit us – we have pre and post-race poems covered. Diva Cindi can write one about the race itself,.

    • Ok – here is the best I can do – using the last drop of Irish I have…

      May the road race not defeat you.
      May the GU not fall out of your pack

      .May the others not upset your pace,
      And the potty- stops not get you far off track.

      And until we hit the finish
      May God find you a fatty to draft.

      or do we go w/ the drinking toast..
      May your race be ever speedy.
      May the course be marked and flat
      And may you be at the finish half an hour before your Garmin’s face goes dead

      • Cindi – I’m dying! I love it! Will look for a choice drafter in my corral.
        My Garmin’s face died 5 minutes before the START of the Marine Corps Marathon!

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