Running is Evil. And I’m Starving. 

running is evil

Today was a MAJOR day for me. I learned three things:

  1. I despise getting out of bed at Half-Past-Ass-O’Clock in the morning to do a tempo run before a long day at work. Gah. Double Gah. 
  2. I need to wake up even EARLIER than Half-Past-Ass to actually EAT something before undergoing such a heroic effort. Maybe I should just eat right before I go to “bed.” I might as well have been running in the middle of the goddamn night anyways. 
  3. The bunny population in my neighborhood has experienced exponential growth. It was a long winter. Even for bunnies.  

    Throw some Hokas on her and call her Colby.


Yup. 3 Truths. I learned ’em this “morning” whilst sticking to my Hanson’s Marathon Training Plan. To be honest, one I knew. One was sort of a surprise. And the third was MIND BLOWING. 

Transitioning from Night Owl to Early Bird is going to take some getting used to. This is how the next 16 Thursday’s will be for me. So SUCK IT UP, BUTTERCUP.  Have goal, will wake up early. It’s not waking up at an ungodly hour, it’s waking up and RUNNING HARD. I felt like a baby giraffe. Limbs akimbo. Thankfully {insert sarcasm here}, my Hansons Method Training plan calls for a 1 to 3 mile warm up and cool down. On top of a 6 mile hard effort. At Zero Dark Bullshit. Before a long day at my lab bench. Brutal. BUT. In the spirit of Lemons Make Lemonade With A Shit Load of Sugar, once I was three or so miles in, I LOVED IT. Really loved it. I felt ALIVE! When everyone else was WASTING THE DAY.  I’m being dramatic. It was 5:55am. 

Here’s the surprise.  I was flat out starving towards the end of this insanity. Rungry, rungry runner. I could barely string a few strides together, let alone chew something beforehand. That needs to change. I can get away with waking up, running an easy 5 with just a bottle of Skratch Labs, but over 8 with a big effort for 6? Yeah. Not happening for me. Not with all of this “cumulative fatigue” business. Cumulative HUNGER is more like it. Oh, I ran it all. (With negative splits I might add. WHO AM I?!?!) But my recovery miles were a blur. A Hypoglycemic Zombie Blur.  


And the mind blowing part?!?! HOLY BUNNIES. I saw at least a dozen bunnies. A DOZEN. A few of those floozies looked like they were doing the hop of shame. Tramps. They were everywhere. Or so it seemed. Maybe it was just one really fast Bunny who was up far to early banging out her tempo run. 🙂

What kind of runner are you: Early Bird or Night Owl? What’s your early morning pre-run ritual? Whatcha eatin’? 


38 thoughts on “Running is Evil. And I’m Starving. 

  1. Hate early morning runs! I spend the rest of the week catching up on sleep. But you’re right….it feels amazing and the feeling lasts all day. Good luck for the next 16 Thursdays.

  2. Lol! What a coincidence! Today I also need to take up at @ss o’clock to go run (long). I’m neither an early bird nor a late owl. I do my best between 10 am – 2 pm. Summer is a pain because it’s too hot to run in the middle of the day here (miss CA). So I force myself to run earlier.

    • Oh I’m up. I’m just snuggled in bed with a giant cup of coffee listening to the sweet sounds of Drunk Otis sleeping off his hangover. Which is exactly where I should be. Not panting and sweating 5 miles from my bed. 🙂 The Brown one is the bomb.

  3. Total morning runner here. I was twisted enough that I used to be on the treadmill at 430am. It was ridiculous. Now I wake up at 545 and it’s like sleeping in! haha. I don’t really eat anything before I run and usually refuel with some oatmeal and almond butter afterwards. You’ll be a morning runner in no time, just stick with it : ) Hope you have a great day!

  4. i prefer to run in the mornings and try to run 2-3 mornings a week before work, plus weekend mornings (which are way easier b/c 8am and not 6am!). 4:30 wouldn’t happen for me. i need 7-8 hours of sleep or else i die.

  5. Goodness girl! I can’t do a hard tempo run on an empty stomach either. That’s like asking for an ambulance pick-up! I’m usually an evening runner and when I do morning runs it’s usually a long run (that I fuel for) or an easy run (I can get by with some quick sips of Gatorade). Maybe I missed it but why are you transitioning to hard morning runs anyway? I would definitely need to get up earlier to fuel for them too.

    And on my early morning runs, I don’t always see bunnies but there are CHIPMUNKS everywhere!!! They are so darn cute scampering about the park 😀

    • I have to shift things around because of the crippling heat and humidity and my work schedule. I think I’m better off running it in the morning than at 7pm, when I really want to be on the couch with a glass of wine in my hand. 😉 I’ll suffer the early morning in exchange for a relaxing evening. And wine. Chipmunks are ADORBS. Love, love ’em!

  6. I love the comments as well 🙂

    Well, I have been getting up ‘in the 4s’ for almost of all of my 26 years of running .. and this past few years doing longer distances I have actually shifted to ~3:45 wake-up so I can get coffee made, deal with the animals, check email/blogs and still be out the door by 4:30 and home in plenty of time to get the kids going for school.

    I used to be a ‘sleep counter’ (drove my wife nuts), but after the traumatic birth of our younger son, with my wife in the hospital for two weeks and needing to be ‘on alert’ for many months after that … I am a light sleeper and only get ~5 hours a night.

    And I really LOVE the early morning wildlife … on IG this morning I posted about having a young deer that was bouncing ahead and basically playing with me for a while. not running away but not letting me too close … it was so cool.

    So while early morning runs might suck … sometimes in life we need to ’embrace the suck’. 🙂

    • BEST COMMENT EVER. Embrace the suck. It’s going to be my new mantra!!! And as for you, you’re my stinkin’ hero!!!!! I am determined to become an early morning running. So far, so (almost) good. 🙂

      • Back when we were engaged and Lisa moved to Massachusetts (ok, going back more than 25 years) she tried running with me one crisp April morning … within 1/2 mile she declared ‘it’s cold dark and scary … I’m going home!’ haha … between that and her joint / arthritis issues we never ran together again – until a Cancer 5K last month. Best time ever – she pushed herself through everything – it was inspiring, a reminder that pace or distance doesn’t matter. Anyway … my family would tell you to NEVER take advice from me about early mornings because I am sick and twisted with my routine 🙂

      • You are sick and twisted. Which is precisely why I adore you! GO LISA!!! That is so impressive. It will ALWAYS impress me those first 5ks. They are tougher than any marathon or ultra. And in many ways, more impressive. YESSSS!!! 🙂

  7. Zero Dark Bullshit. LOVE.
    I’m with Suz. I’m an early riser (kids) but not a morning person. The husband is a morning person and totally that chipper “life is awesome at 5 a.m.” person that I want to just duct tape. But I love him. He’s my ying to my yang.

  8. “Bitch, peas” is my new favourite thing, btw. I wish I was a morning runner, but I’m not. I really like to dawdle around, taking my time to get ready before a run. Getting up at “zero dark bullshit” doesn’t allow for that. I’m trying to grow into the possibility of being an early morning runner though. And expect this marathon training nonsense in the heat of summer is gonna force me to. As for morning run fuelling? If it’s a short run, I’ll do a banana. If it’s longer, I’ll wrap that sucker up in a whole wheat wrap with some peanut butter.

  9. Ah, Colby you don’t want to know what I eat. Not quite the Phelps diet, but I eat fun! I like riding early over the weekends but I LOVE riding in the early evening. As long as I get a ride in, I’m okay.

  10. TRUTH! This is why I hate morning running! I can do an easy 3 miles no sweat, but anything fast/long/difficult at all? Nope! I also have no idea how to handle eating before a hard morning run because it involves such an early wakeup. I think I’m sticking with my hard night runs, but good luck on pushing through the morning stuff!

  11. Pingback: Running, Half-Marathoning and Galloping with Drunk Otis | It's A Marathon AND A Sprint

  12. I admire your dedication to the Plan. I try really hard to be a morning runner in the summer because of heat and humidity, but I have a really difficult time prying myself out of bed. Case in point: this morning. My alarm went off, it was sunny and nice out, and I’d gotten decent sleep. But did I get up and run? HECK NO! I reset my alarm and went back to sleep.

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