Running, Half-Marathoning and Galloping with Drunk Otis

Inside Out Disney PixarAnother week of Hansons Marathon Method Training in the books! BOOM! POW! HOORAY!  I ran a lot. A real, whole heck of a lot of miles. What I really “ran” was the gamut of emotions that comes with getting way the hell out of your comfort zone. Doubt. Anxiety. Angst. Discomfort. Fear. The whole kit and emotional caboodle. I am pleased to report that although last week’s training left me stressed, I neither cried nor threw in the goddamn towel. Instead I used to it wipe the sweat from my GIANT SATISFIED SMILING FACE

I am noticing that with each passing week, my confidence creeps up ever so slightly. This whole Colby’s Marathon Training Weekly Recap thing is good. It’s keeping me honest and holding me accountable. Bear with me, Poodles! Here’s how the EPIC week went:

Monday: 6 miles. Easy pace. Except it was 91 degrees. Not so easy, now. Is it? Ick. 

Tuesday: 7 miles. Intervals. Sweaty, god-forsaken intervals on the treadmill. 8 x 600m (7:57 pace), with warm up and cool down. I almost threw up. Instead I forgot where I was and belted out Prodigy’s ‘Firestarter’ at the TOP OF MY LUNGS during my last one. As you can see by the text exchange between my Beloved and I, I was foul-mouthed and salty from the start. See actual text below. This love note was sent with one interval to go. 


Now that’s love. That text was followed by this exchange in the ladies Locker Room.  #truestory.  For the record, I did not direct my Salty Pirate Speak at Little Miss No Antiperspirant.  I laughed. Right in her absurdly dry face.

Wednesday: {Cue trumpets.} REST DAY. Ahhhhhh. And what did I do? Absolute zero. Well, zero running. I weeded, mulched, edged beds, gardened, walked Our Zoo, then planted my ass on the couch and binge watched Botched on Bravo. Don’t judge. It was my rest day. I can zone out on over-filler-inflated lips and deflated breast implants if I want to.

Thursday: Tempo Run, 8 miles total. The Dreaded Tempo Run executed at Zero Dark Bullshit. My first early morning tempo run before work. This is what caused me the anxiety. And? I did it. I can’t believe it. I lived to tell. Relive the glory HERE. I still need to work out eating super early in the morning, before running, so I can avoid feeling like a busted can of biscuits after EATING ALL THINGS upon finishing. Because I am starving.  Baby steps, Colby. Baby steps. 

Even Drunk Otis was smiling.

Even Drunk Otis was smiling.

Friday: 6 miles. Easy. Legs were tired. But basically a non event. Wasn’t that nice?

Saturday: 6 miles WITH DRUNK OTIS! Drunk Otis and I hit the road this time, instead of his beloved trails. I am pleased to report that he is GREAT running on leash. It was unseasonably cool out, which is why I even brought the Brown One to begin with. So many businesses around town leave dog bowls outside, it’s awesome. There’s water at every corner. It would be awesome-er if Drunk Otis actually drank from a public dog bowl. He’s a germ-o-phobe. Perhaps even a snob. He’ll splash in it. Dump it over himself. Or even take a sip from a putrid puddle teaming with giardia. But drink from a fancy ceramic bowl with paw prints hand painted on it? NOPE. Not gonna do it. He will instead pick up a dead squirrel along the route, and carry it in his mouth for a few strides. You know, just cuz. He’s a mess. But I love him.

Courtesy of Suze @ Suzlyfe

Drunk Otis. Courtesy of Suze @ Suzlyfe

Sunday: 13.1 miles. It was supposed to be 10 miles, at an “easy” pace. Instead it was 13.1 hilly miles as fast as my tired legs would allow. It was the (Formerly) Dreaded Fairfield Half Marathon. I say Formerly because for the first time in 7 years it was not a half marathon run on the surface of the sun. It was actually cool out. The torrential rain cleared, and cool temps and humidity rolled in. I’d take that weather any day. I did not miss the sun. As a result, I had a kick ass race. My fastest in 7 years of running it. And I’m 7 years older. And ran it on dead tired legs. I actually teared up as I finished. Got a little mushy even. All week long this training program intimidated me- especially knowing I had this race on Sunday. My legs hated me yesterday. But they didn’t quit. To have run well made ME well up. A qualifying time for Boston seems a million miles away. Or maybe just a couple of hundred thousand this week. πŸ™‚Fairfield Half

Do you run a particular race every year and regret it every time? Do you pre-register for races, giving ZERO care to the weather? Do you ever run with your pup?


36 thoughts on “Running, Half-Marathoning and Galloping with Drunk Otis

  1. Ha! Did miss “I don’t sweat” misunderstand the purpose of the gym? You’re not supposed to look cute when you’re done. πŸ™‚ I love Drunk Otis- he looks so happy in every picture! Congrats on your race!

    • Thanks Fallon! I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe this Hansons business is paying off! Can you believe her?!?! If you still look cute, you didn’t work hard enough! πŸ™‚

  2. YAS the sign. It is so epic. And I love that Drunk Otis now gets to be involved in the marathon fun πŸ˜€ Way to kick the Fairfield’s arse. You showed it what for. And throw DO’s dead squirrel at the locker room chick. I would totally laugh.

    • That sign was MADE for Drunk Otis!!! Thank you Miss Suze! I’ve been giggling about it since you shared it. Seriously. Could you believe that broad? Such silliness. Wait until she gets a load of me today. I’m flat out GROSS. Ha!

  3. Glad to hear you did so well at Fairfield! I was SO excited with the weather. I think this is the first time since I started running it in 07 that it hasn’t been like running on the surface of the sun. Fairfield used to be my “why the hell do I do this” race, but I will definitely be back next year! I wish I could run with my pup but he is an absolute crazy animal and would end up killing me in the process. Congrats on another week of amazing training!1

    • So bummed Jamie! Would have loved to have met you! I’m sitting here laughing because Tina and I have been saying the SAME DAMN THING FOR YEARS!! I think I have a change of heart about the old Fairfield Half! And thank you!!! πŸ™‚

  4. Every TX race, no matter the season, has the potential to be 100 bazillion degrees with 200% humidity at the start, so I rarely consider the weather before signing up. I have learned a little through the years, however, and any race in July or August will be boycotted. My friends and I are considering a race in early May in northern CA next year–because we know it will be blessedly cool.

  5. Ugh. Never trust someone who goes to the gym and doesn’t sweat. I’d be all like: “Hey lady! YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!” Your pup sounds a lot like mine, in terms of drinking water snobbery. She totally turns up her nose at communal bowls and only wants to drink out of her own bowl if she sees the water being freshly poured from the Brita. But cloudy, muddy, mosquito ridden puddles? Oh yeah. Those are her favourite.

    • She may be Drunk Otis’ soul mate. He is too damn much. As for Prissy Non-Sweaty Pants, I did not see her this morning. And quite frankly, I was sad. I was even more soaked than last week. Even my knees were sweating. πŸ˜‰

  6. I’m in LOVE with Drunk Otis… I have the largest soft spot for those precious chocolate labs. So awesome you take him on some of your runs and also so awesome that local businesses keep water bowls outside… how cool!! I LOLed so hard at miss “I don’t sweat.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve looked like a drowned rat surrounded by perfectly done up and not-sweaty gals at the gym and I thought to myself “oh please!!” Sweat means you worked hard… keep it up!!

    • We’re in love with Drunk Otis too. He’s such a funny dog. We’ve had him for just about 3 weeks now. He’s 15 months old and has ZERO concept of how gigantic he is. Those chocolate ones. Boy, they’ll get ya. Oh Miss No Sweat. She was even rockin’ false eyelashes. Me? You’re lucky I even HAD eyelashes by the end of that sufferfest! And thank you! πŸ™‚

  7. You are a badass, Colby! You are killing this training big time. Love your smile – and Drunk Otis’ too!!! So glad to hear you’re gaining that confidence – you can do it!! πŸ˜€ And congrats on a great race!

    • You’re such a love! Thank you!!! And Drunk Otis just picked his huge brown head up off his bed, yawned LOUDLY and plunked it back down. That’s Drunk Otis’ way of saying Thanks! He kills me. Xo

  8. Hahaha! I love that sign!

    Ditto on what everyone said that Miss No Sweat.

    I don’t run with Bandit (not fast enough for her), but Ben does. He’s not fast enough for her either.

  9. Great job on rocking all your marathon training runs.! and you’re just going to keep getting more and more confident girl πŸ™‚
    I over think every race, ha, so I only end up doing a couple a year. lol

    • I do too!!! What the hell is our problem?!?! JUST RUN COLBY AND JESSICA. I’m actually trying to ‘get out of my head’ before a race. Which has really helped with the last two! And thank you! Confidence is a good thing. πŸ˜‰

  10. I seriously LOL’d at your text with your Beloved. My honey is also upbeat and chipper anytime I text him my frustrations over running. Like my little personal cheerleader πŸ™‚
    That girl at the the gym-what’s her problem!? IMHO, if you’re not sweating, you’re not doing anything. Heck I’ll have sweat dripping down my back and legs after an easy run. & I look more like I went pool running after a speed workout. Go you for rocking those intervals and that sweat!
    That picture with Otis smiling- too cute!!

    • Even my KNEES sweat. I’m so freaking gross. The majority of our texts are always like that.
      Me: grumblesweargrumbleswearroar
      Him: That’s great! I’m proud of you! Go get ’em, Baby! HOORAY! cheercheercheer
      It’s hysterical. And exactly how we are. He’ll send me a few “f-bombs” over hard workouts or hill repeats on the bike- Don’t let him fool ya! I love our Personal Cheerleaders! They complete us. πŸ™‚

      And Drunk Otis is a damn riot. xoxo

  11. This made me smile: “I neither cried nor threw in the goddamn towel. Instead I used to it wipe the sweat from my GIANT SATISFIED SMILING FACE.” Love it!
    Congrats on crushing the half marathon!! (And for crushing your training week as well!) I pre-register for everything waaaay in advance (I’m a sucker for all the “register before x and get a free hat!” stuff) and never pay attention to weather or whether or not I’ll be injured/traveling/whatever. It’s dangerous, but I can’t stop.

    • Thank you!! As much as I say I WILL NOT PRE-REG. I always wind up doing it. Because once it’s on the old calendar, it’s as good as done! I’m also a sucker for a deal. And pre-reg’ing (is that even a word?) saves you a little bit of coin. Which you then spend on post-race beers. πŸ™‚

  12. Congratulations on the 13.1! Sounds like you smashed it, even on tired legs! Is Drunk Otis a chocolate lab? We might be getting a rescue chocolate lab puppy in the next week or so and I’m SO EXCITED. Cannot contain excitement.

    • Drunk Otis is 100% pure chocolate lab. And he is a lovable MENACE. He’s still a puppy if you can believe it. He’s gigantic. But our little pack is really loving him. He needed a little work, Crazy Pants that he is. Good Luck with the puppy!!!! I can’t wait to see pics! And hear stories. Because if he’s a chocolate lab, there will be plenty of them! πŸ™‚

      • I can’t wait! It’s like 90% certain that we’re getting him, but we have to wait to hear since he’s a rescue puppy. I can’t wait to have a new running buddy, although I imagine we’ll get distracted with belly rubs instead πŸ™‚

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