Running Through a Ball Pit and Surviving Hansons Marathon Method!

In the words of the almighty, incomparable Gloria Gaynor:

Do you think I’d crumble?

Did you think I’d lay down and die?

No, not I…


*not a direct quote

high fiving a million angels

17 weeks of Hansons Marathon Method. BOOM! Done. I’ve never been more excited to finish something in my life. IN MY LIFE, POODLES. I lived it. You lived it. We all lived it. We’ve laughed. We’ve cried. I’ve bitched. You’ve groaned. I ate enough lobster rolls to make a fisherman puke. I have consumed enough delicious IPAs to send me to detox. And through it all you have stuck with me and my ridiculous training and endured these recaps. Millions of kisses! Your encouragement has meant the world to me. It has buoyed me when I felt like I was drowning in a kiddie pool of sweat and strength intervals. It has built confidence on my darkest, uberest-exhausted days. It has made me believe that I am capable.



All kidding aside: You Rock.

Here’s how the last official week of training went! Week 17, I’d never thought I’d see ya, Baby!

Monday: Easy 8 miles. No muss. No fuss. And by the way, IT’S FALL! For reals! Colored leaves, cool temps and utter HAPPINESS!

Tuesday: Strength Intervals. 6 X 1 mile with 400 recovery. Warm up/recovery. Yadda. Yadda. 13 miles. Ready for this? They felt easy. SHUT UP! #truestory

Wednesday: RESTFUCKINGDAY. {Cue Hallelujah Chorus} I relaxed. Put my paws up. And even went to yoga. I know, right?!?!? Gentle yoga. I needed a lil’ deep breathing. I needed to feel grounded. Rooted. Centered. I’ve been so obsessed with the body, that I’ve neglected the mind. I needed some quiet, focus and clarity; three things I had been overlooking as of late. So off to yoga I went. I don’t know why I don’t go more often. I emerged centered. And maybe even a half-inch taller.paws and reflect

Thursday: The Dreaded Tempo Run. The very last one. This workout has been the litmus test for my progress. I hate you, Tempo Run. But I love you. It’s a complicated, terrifying relationship, Tempo Run and I. It stresses me out every damn week. This week was obviously no exception. I cracked my knuckles. Took a deep breath. And ran. 13 miles total. The pace? Spot on. Spot on with far less effort than it has been the entire time. Holy Toledo. I was ELATED. And in true Colby fashion, wound up singning U2s, “It’s a Beautful Day” ON THE TOP OF MY LUNGS during the last quarter mile, then burst into tears in my crowded, filthy (you’ll see why) gym. Did I mention I had to run this on a treadmill because I didn’t get out of work until after 6pm??? Yeah. There’s that additional layer of hell and emotional angst.

Friday: Wake up to discover that my eyes, which had been blood shot for two days, are now swollen, blood shot and light sensitive. What the f*ck. Did I sleep in a McDonald’s Ball Pit? Am I a Mogwai? Did Drunk Otis give me rabies? Or meningitis? The petri dish I call a gym! I throw on my glasses and manage to squeak in 5 miles outside. Air will do me good. It was supposed to be 7, but my eyes were killing me. I immediately call my doctor. I get an appointment, get antibiotic drops and also get a “If there is no response over the weekend, you are heading to a specialist on Monday.” ren and stimpy

Spoiler Alert: Fast Forward. Guess where I was yesterday? Yup. Eye specialist. Summary: I have some jacked up virus in my eyes and am on steroid drops. So yes, I will be doping for Baystate. Tina may also be running as my guide if I can’t wear my contact lenses. But guess what? I’m wearing the goddamn lenses. Period. The. End. Cross your paws that this treatment works. Or you’ll be reading a seriously expletive laced review of the Baystate Marathon.

Saturday: Drunk Otis, My Sad Eyes, and I could only handle 5 miles. My Guide Dog was on point! Thanks, Oats! Besides, we had cheering to do at My Other Half’s Cyclocross Race.

Drunk Otis, Guide.

Drunk Otis, Guide.

Sunday: 8 miles. Legs felt great. Eyes felt like they were being massaged with fine sand paper. Let’s hope this week brings clearer eyes. Poor things. Now on to my Micro-Taper. Squeee! 🙂

Total number of miles: 52

Number of different types of eye drops I used to prevent myself from looking like a stoned blood hound: 4

Number of times I tripped over Drunk Otis whilst running because I couldn’t see: 5

Have you ever gotten a version of pink eye as an adult? Ever jump in a ball pit? Do you run with your pup?


44 thoughts on “Running Through a Ball Pit and Surviving Hansons Marathon Method!

  1. I have to tell you I picked up your blog after you went to the Crossfit Bethany Ladies Wine and WOD night(i think it was in the summer), and I am so happy that I did.. your posts have really help me refocus my training.. (as I am only training for a 1/2 Marathon) I always am thinking about you when I don’t feel like running, I know you are doing double if not triple what I am doing, and it makes me get out there and just do it.. Thank You for sharing your journey with me!!! your commitment to the Hanson’s Training is AMAZING and something to be proud of!!! You are Freaken DONE!!! Congrats..

    • Ok before I thank you profusely from the bottom of my tired heart, I want to say this. Erin, you aren’t ONLY running a half marathon. You are running a freaking half!!! And that’s something to be so proud of!!! That’s 13.1 miles, Lady! That shit is far. And if anyone tells you otherwise, send them to me. I’ll set them straight. I will never forget what it’s like to build mileage- Hansons training included. From 1mile on up…it’s hard. So hard. But your body will do what your mind believes. Believe it and you can achieve it. I know you can. Now enough of this “only” crazy talk….:-)

      I wish we met at CrossFit!!!! Thank you so much for following along. I am so touched by your comment. It means the world to me! Good luck on your half, Erin! Let me know how it goes!!!!! Which one??? Xoxo

      • Disney’s Wine and Dine.. it’s technically my third Wine and Dine 1/2… I feel the only way I can do a 1/2 is at the happiest place on earth!! I have been been lacking in the motivation area this time.. so your blog has helped me get back on the road(or treadmill).

      • That’s awesome Erin! I’ve never run a Disney race. And I love your thinking!! Besides, anything with wine in the title is up my alley! Thus the Crossfit Wine and WOD!! I’m so happy you’re inspired. Your comment made my day. Good Luck!!!! 🙂

  2. OUCH!!! I am so sorry! I scratched my cornea once…and I still cry a little thinking about it. LOL! But my biggest recommendation (being in healthcare etc) is DO NOT put your contacts in until it’s all clear. It will only make the infection fester that much longer.

  3. All the expletives for eye infections. Last time I had one I got it FROM THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE when I went in for a respiratory infection. So add eyes-crusted-shut to sneezing out green stuff. Totally digressing here, but I’d like to see a parody remake of the Cruise/Kidman classic by the name Eyes Crusted Shut. Oh and congrats on surviving the Hansons particular brand of torture! I hope race day will feel like a relative breeze.

    • I could totally co-star in Eyes Crusted Shut. I’m a mess. And I’m hoping these drops work like magic. Or I’ll be tied to Tina, running blind! The weekend should be interesting. 🙂 And getting an eye infection from a doctors office is complete bullshit. I blame my Petrie dish of a gym.

  4. Hutzpah for making it to week 17!! wooooo!!!! Hope your eyes feel better! Adult pink eye is awful, mostly because everyone thinks you’re high when you’re NOT. Unless, of course, you are …..

  5. I’ve done none of what you asked, though I did have a nasty scratched eye once that was painful enough to prevent me from sleeping…
    but enough about me.
    What an awesome week! I’m so happy it came together for you!!! I’m really excited to see what you can do after the mini taper. 🙂

  6. Ugh, eye infections and/ or injuries give me the creeps. And make my stomach turn. Sorry you have to deal with this at all let alone this week! But aside from that, your training has been killer and you have seriously rocked it! You’re going to have an amazing race!

    • Eyes totally creep me out too, Fallon. Which is why you can imagine how thrilled I am to be dealing with two bum ones 5 days before this damn marathon! Thank you! I’m running no matter what!!! 🙂

  7. Hell yeah for you kicking Hanson’s butt! I can’t wait to read about you rocking Baystate. And that eye crap, that sounds like the absolute worst! I had this weird pink eye in college. I had a really bad sinus infection and it started draining through my eyes. NOT. FUN. I hope you feel better soon!

  8. DUDE YOUR EYE. LIKE SERIOUSLY? NOW? Your attitude about the whole thing rocks though. You are a total badass. I can’t believe it’s week 17 either. I freaking loved reading your recaps that I’m going to go through postpartum depression when your race is over. I hope you have another in your near future for me to read about.

    I just reserved Hansons at my local Barnes and Nobles so I can pick it up immediately after work. I keep saying I’m going to order it on Amazon, well, I keep forgetting but I need it right now. You know what sold me? Your tempo run. It sounded like you actually…liked it? Yes? No? Maybe don’t tell me and let me believe you liked it. Those kick my ass. You did one every single week. I did not. Whether I go full blown Hansons or not, I need to look at their use of tempo runs and see how they might fit into my week. I’m sure I’ll be cursing your name in the midst of Boston training but DAMN, SISTER. You are READY FOR THIS SHIZ. Go LIGHT IT UP!!!!!

    • I CAN’T EVEN. And it’s my eyeS. Of course this is nothing compared to that time I fell, ripped open my face, wound up in the ER, got stitches and a shiner before the Burlington Marathon. I have seriously come to embrace the: Accept and move the hell forward way of life. It’s ridiculous. But I can’t say I’m shocked that it happened to me. One eye has turned the corner, the other sucks. They’re a pretty shade of pale pink. And regardless, contacts will be in on Sunday. Period. The End. I didn’t bust my ass to run tied to Tina. No. Effen. Way.

      I love that we’ve “connected” through this nightmare training! So happy to have found you! There will be more adventures. Fo sho. I’ll just have to pry my ass off of the couch and put down the IPA first. 🙂

      Take a look at Hansons. You’re hard core already, so it won’t be that batshit crazy to you. And yes. There is a Tempo Run each week. It builds in mileage- starting at 6 miles at goal pace then maxing out at 10. For all of those SOS (Something of Substance) runs, there is also a warm up and cool down of 1-3 miles before and after. I did what I could fit in. Usually 2 miles each. They kick your ass. Because although you do the Tempo Run after a rest day, your legs are tuckered. You’re always running. Easy or SOS. And let me tell you, cumulative fatigue is REAL. Take a look. I’d love to see what you think.

      And I’d love to “see” (pun intended) how this shit comes together for me this Sunday. SEND ME FAST THOUGHTS!!!! 😉

      • You GOT IT! Lots of speedy, positive vibes coming your way!!! Love that we connected through here. I’ll have a celebratory IPA for you on Sunday, too. So I bought your bible yesterday afternoon and I had a chance to skim through it. I really, really like it. I’m pretty sure that I’m sold – the speed and tempo stuff makes sense, the pace charts make sense. BUT. No 20 miler scares me!!! However, I have trained for a marathon and have only gone to 18 miles before and I still finished the race. It scares me because the last 10K is where I usually struggle. But, the rationale is what makes me really interested. The way the week is structured, by the time you get to the long run it’s like you ARE running the last 16 miles of the marathon. Also, I like the two speed workouts every single week. I firmly believe consistency is important and that seems to be stressed in the book, too. I’m intrigued. I have a plan mapped out from now until Boston that I came up with using my trusty Pfitzinger, but I used him for the past few years. Then I used a coach that really didn’t work for me. I haven’t run a marathon PR since June 2014, so it might be time to try something new!!! Plus, every single time I would read your posts every week I thought “holy effing shit”. I need a “holy effing shit” kind of plan. GOOOOOOD LUUUCCCKKK THIS WEEKEND!

      • Thank you!!!! It does make sense. And I have no doubt that you will feel like you are perpetually running the last half of the marathon. By the time you get to Monday’s easy run, your legs WILL be tired. And you WILL stick to your easy run pace. Even though you’re all “Shit. That seems slow.” Cumulative fatigue. Dude. It’s real. Hansons are no joke. I’m psyched your checking them out!

        I mean it when I say that no matter how my marathon goes, I have definitely become a stronger, faster, more confident runner. In my head I really feel like I’ve won.

        I can’t wait for my post-race IPA. CHEERS, FRIEND!!!

  9. Oh no!! I certainly hope those drops are zapping all the bad stuff away. I did have swollen eyes one time and was told it was pinguecula. I needed to stop wearing my contacts for a little bit (only a week) and I didn’t wear any eye makeup. My boss told me I looked tired (yep, he’s a guy). Hope yours turns out to be just as minor, because you will be rocking that race soon and no one has time for crazy eye shit – especially you!!

  10. Congrats on finishing the training, drink all the IPA’s your heart desires… as for the lobster rolls, there is no shame in your game girl. Also, yes my eyes got infected from my contacts last spring and people were looking at me like I had the plague… Like I get it, my eye is as red as a fire engine. K thanks. Give Drunk Otis (he is slaying that bandanna by the way) an extra treat for being such a good guide dog 🙂

    • Thank you for validating my obsession with IPAs, lobster rolls and all things Drunk Otis. As for my eyes, I officially have one decent one. The other is a light mauve. Paws are crossed. 😉

  11. All the high fives for completing the Hansons method!! It sounded like it was super intense. I can’t wait to hear how you feel doing Baystate after training like a badass! Fingers crossed your eyes sort themselves out, too!

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