Anyone else feel like a hung over, busted can of biscuits?
I can recover from marathons better than a long weekend of drinking and stinking. Maybe InsideTracker’s Inner Age was right. Maybe I am a broken down old broad. If you missed my last InsideTracker post, relive the glory (and PROGRESS!) HERE. And if you’re up for some Cyber Monday deals, there’s a code good for some deep discounts on InsideTracker packages. Invest in YOU this Cyber Monday. And not on shit that you don’t really need and will use for 2 weeks tops, before it winds up at the bottom of your cupboard, quietly weeping. Don’t make a cheap quesadilla maker sad! Invest in YOU, Poodles!
I had a fantastic long weekend. Some would argue a lil’ too fantastic. I’m looking at you, Liver. It was filled with people I adore and plenty of holiday cheer. And by holiday, I mean the Thanksgiving Holiday. Not the Christmas one. It is still November. Even though it’s hanging on by a teeny tiny thread. Last night as I plopped my tired, bloated, hung over ass on my couch and scrolled through the Internets, all I saw was FULL ON CHRISTMAS. Lights! Trees! Santa! Gingerbread houses! Elaborate Christmas Extravaganzas! Kids in Christmas Jammies!
And here I was covered in dog hair in yoga pants.
Was it always like this?
I feel like I’m way behind the Christmas Eight Ball and the goddamn turkey isn’t even cold yet. I almost felt panicked. I started walking around the house searching for giant green and red Tupperware bins marked “Xmas Decorations!” Yes. With an exclamation point. Where are my freaking ornaments?! Stockings?!?! Do we need new ones?!?!? WHERE ARE THE FLICKERY CANDLES FOR THE WINDOWS?!?!? GET ME THE NUTCRACKERS! I NEED THEM NOW! I was nearly frenzied for one hot second. I even went so far as to find a lint brush and throw on some Uggs and a puffer vest. I came this close to heading out the door to chop down my tree, take a selfie in front of it, then have Drunk Otis drag it back home for me. Imagine a puffy faced me, a tree, and a maniac chocolate lab wearing a goPro. Eat your heart out Currier and Ives. It’s not even that people have begun to decorate for Christmas- THEY’RE FINISHED. I’m talking wrapped presents under the tree and shit. I haven’t even wrapped up my Thanksgiving hangover.
What I hope is left is to actually ENJOY the spirit of the season. To do something meaningful with someone you adore. To donate your time to a cause dear to you. To spend time with people who add value to your life. And to tell them they do so.
To laugh. To listen. To savor.
To raise a glass to health, love and happiness.
And To SLOW THE FUCK DOWN BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL STRESSING ME OUT.
Then I came to my senses, put my keys down, pushed Drunk Otis out of the way, hopped back in my cozy chair and poured myself a glass of wine.
With a reindeer on the glass.
That’s gotta count. 🙂
Do your social media feeds stress you out this time of year? Are you done with Christmas already? What’s your favorite thing to do during the Holiday Season?