3 Day Juice Cleanse: Success!


72 hours of not chewing a damn thing. No food. No tacos. No nothing. Just juice. And dark green juice at that. Done-zo. I neither fainted nor died. Which were both pluses. I managed one run, two walks and a Bikram Yoga class. Otherwise, I laid low. It’s not really the time to run Yasso 800s when you’re consuming just juice and are damn near glycogen depleted. I mean I’m nuts and all, but there was just no way my legs would do it. Nor did I want to. This was a reset for me. A nice calm, green reset.



I am pleased to report that I did not cheat. Not. Once. Even though I did make dinner for My Beloved which was both torturous, cruel and unnecessary. (I wanted to stick my face in it for Pete’s sake.) Even though He stocked our fridge with my favorite Bordeaux and IPAs. Even though there were homemade dark chocolate covered pretzels on my counter. And Christmas cookies at every turn. I held steady. Here’s why…

Doing this was quite the undertaking. I shopped, juiced, prepped and cleared my schedule of Holiday Shenanigans for 3 days. Note: Buying lots of organic produce ain’t cheap. I also planned it around my training schedule. Because continuing training at my “normal” pace during this would not be conducive to life. I’d be belly up on the floor.  Finding 3 consecutive quiet days in December was harder than I thought. I know. All of this is total selfish nonsense, #firstworld to the max. But investing in your health during the season of over indulgence is important. It sets the tone for the year ahead. So I’ll take being a lil’ selfish.

There were definitely some low, hangry moments. Day 2 was a bear for me. There were also some verrry tempting moments on Day 1 that tested my commitment. I’m looking at YOU, gallon of peanut butter pretzels 3 feet from my desk. Another unnecessary bullshit hurdle. If all of the tempting hurdles taught me anything, it was that I could clear them. Easily.  Will power is really like a super power sometimes.

Somewhere late into day Day 2, it actually became easy.  In a bizarre twist, I had tons of energy and felt sharper. No joke-more clear headed  and with an awful lot of focus. Maybe it’s no sugar? No caffeine? Maybe I imagined it? I really have no definite proof other than to say that come Day 3, I really felt great. I slept soundly. I felt leaner. Slightly meaner 😉 and definitely more clear headed.

So now what? Welp. I am far more motivated to eat cleaner and mind the sugar and caffeine. Maybe limit myself to one coffee, instead of a pot. Or two. Limit the carbs a bit. Clean up the edges. It also eliminated comfort eating. You know when you pad around the kitchen, opening the fridge 100 times then settle for a box of half stale Reduced Fat Wheat Thins? Yeah. That kind of comfort eating. When I felt hungry, I had a glass of water *lightbulb* which curbed the craving. Simple. Basic. And no damn surprise. I haven’t felt this hydrated in months. In fact, I haven’t felt this AWARE in months. Let’s hope it sticks. 😊

What’s your go to comfort food? Do you hang up your water bottle come fall? Would you ever do this?

3 Day Juice Cleanse: Homestretch!


I’m so close to the end I can taste it. And it doesn’t take like Green Juice. It tastes like pure joy. I’m not gonna lie. Day 2 of this 3 Day Juice Cleanse  was rough. Talk about peaks and valleys. I was a mid-day mess. I may have even gotten a little snappy or, hangry as the kids say. Late afternoon yesterday was the low point. Hungry and just plain pooped. But then things shifted inexplicably and I started to feel much, much better as the day went on. Energized even.


Me. 3:17pm yesterday.

I am moving on along though, the end CLEARLY in sight. Which brings me to my next point, clarity.  I don’t know if it’s the caloric reduction, the lack of caffeine or what, but I seem to have crazy focus. I also feel a little bit like a fog has lifted. Maybe not fog. Maybe film. I had felt like everything lately- mind included- had been dulled. Like covered in a film. I felt sharper last night and super focused. It was odd. Of course maybe it was just the Herculean willpower I displayed last night, cooking My Other Half dinner. WHICH I DIDN’T EAT. What kind of complete and utter shit is that? I must realllllly love him. I feel like I can hang this over his head a bit. I feel a “Remember that time I was doing a cleanse and was starving and STILL made you dinner like it was 1954 and I was in the kitchen in kitten heels and a cute apron COOKING FOR MY MAN?!?!?!” in my immediate future. I survived though. And he enjoyed supper.



Last day, Poodles. I’m curious to see if the increased energy/clarity or whatever I’m experiencing hangs through today now that the hump of Day 2 is over. I’m also curious to look around the interwebs and see if people report feeling this way. And of course if there is any scientific proof of it- because I’m a science dork at my very core. Whether it is real or simply perceived doesn’t matter. I feel it. So I’m goin’ with it! 🙂

Have you ever done a fast? Have you ever done a cleanse? Who makes dinner at your house? 


3 Day Juice Cleanse: 1 Down, 2 To Go. And yes. I’m starving.

feed me seymor

And by FEED ME, I don’t mean gallons of green shit. I mean trays of pizza. Sweet Clumps of Kale, Day 1 is DONE! Hooray! Actually. I’m being far too dramatic. It really wasn’t that bad. Like at all. In fact, I even managed a short run to break in my new Altra’s and then went to Bikram Yoga.

Hold up, hold up…
Let’s let that sink in.

I am in the throes of a juice cleanse and I went to Bikram Yoga.

WHO AM I?!?!?

Maybe I am shape shifting into Deepak Chopra! I’m a goddamn Paragon of Health! That is of course until Day 4 rolls around and I’m stuffing my gob with scoops of guac and IPAs.  I suppose it could be worse. I could be in the throes of a Stranger Things Netflix binge covered in Dorito dust. At least I’m trying. Tiny victories, Poodles.

As you know, I kicked off my 3 Day Juice cleanse yesterday. No time like a Monday in December when you have a Christmas Cookie Swap at Tina’s the end of the week to start a cleanse. Never fear. It will be wrapped up by then. Yesterday wasn’t so bad! I was juiced, packed and prepped early. Here’s how the 3 Days will go:

8am- 10oz of Grapefruit/Orange Juice Combo. Freshly squeezed. Freshly fresh.

10am- 10oz of Green Juice. This is the main staple of this particular cleanse. It consists of kale, spinach, romaine, green apples, parsley, celery, lemon and cucumbers. I might be forgetting shit. It’s all green. With a splash of yellow. Freshly juiced. Freshly fresh.

12am- You guessed it. 10oz of Green Juice. Again. Uh. huh. Green. Glug, glug.

3pm- 10oz of Lemonade. But not Country Time. Fresh lemons, lime, Grade B Maple Syrup (which, BTW no longer is called that. Now it’s GRADE A, DARK AND ROBUST! I added the exclamation point because it seems necessary. And I love syrup.) and cayenne pepper. I don’t know why, but drinking this makes me feel like Beyonce. If only…

5pm- 10oz of Green Shit Juice. I kid. I love you Green Juice. You make me feel whole.

1hr before bed- Cashew “Milk”.  Raw Cashews, that delicious syrup Vitamixed to a creamy elixir. It is a delight.

That’s all, Folks. See what’s notably missing? Besides beer and garlic knots and chewable food? COFFEE. I’m off caffeine. GAHHHH. That’s worse than anything. I had a very dull headache that did seem to subside as the day went on. I missed coffee yesterday. In fact, I miss it more today but that’s for tomorrow’s post. In addition to all that GREEN, I’ve been drinking quite a bit of water. Which is making me freezing cold. Not kidding. I’m swaddled in fleece and peeing LIKE A BOSS! I am also drinking green tea simply because I am freezing.

I’m not sure if going for a short 30 minute run on the treadmill then doing Bikram was smart, but I felt good. So I went. And sweated PROFUSELY. Of course I re-hydrated. Shit. That’s all I’m doing. Again, don’t follow this nonsense! Check with your doctor before you drink Organic Sludge and do steaming hot yoga! You do YOU. This is simply my opinion and crazy experience.  In an evil nod from the universe, this is what greeted me as I left the gym.  Temptation, much? Whore basket.


You’re killing me Planet Fitness.

Today admittedly, I’m a little tuckered. But I am not ravenous. I think today I’ll probably just take Drunk Otis for a walk. That may be smarter. The point of this cleanse is to go easy on myself, rest the gut, detox, blah, blah- not beat the snot out of me.  I’ll dial it down. I’m going to have to. I’m dragging at the moment. Time for GREEEEEEEEN.

Until tomorrow, Friends!


Have you recently switched running shoes? What do you run in? Have you had to switch because of changes made to the newest edition that didn’t work for you? Why do companies do that? 😦

Running, Celebrating and Settling In…

The final miles of 2016. 😊

Well roll my quads and call me Baby New Year! Happy 2017, Poodles! Finally. Next chapter. Page turned. A fresh clean slate. Ahhhh!  I love it. I love that ambitious feeling of I CAN DO ANYTHING! that accompanies each New Year. Of course, that’s after the hangover has worn off and you locate your missing winter running glove which you pad around looking for every damn day. I’m looking at YOU Drunk Otis Brown.

What? Me?!?! I only eat socks.

New Year’s Eve was lovely. Me, My Other Half, Thai food, friends and plenty o’ champagne. Perfection. Oh and running. There was plenty of running. In fact, I really feel as if I’m settling in to the miles nicely. It’s strange. Perhaps it’s because I started with a decent level of fitness after running the Marine Corps Marathon? Or, perhaps it’s because of all the HIIT workouts, lifting and stair milling prior to starting Hansons Marathon Method? It’s probably a bit of both. I’m also trying to get a solid night’s sleep each night. That’s definitely helping. Lord knows it’s not because I’ve been laying off the sauce. Colby needs a detox. Clearly. Here’s how Week 3 of Hansons went!

Marathon Goal: 3:45
Marathon Pace: 8:35
Easy Run Pace: 9:35 to 10:35
Interval Pace: 7:35
Tempo Run Pace: 8:35

Monday: Easy Run, 8 miles. Pace, 9:42. This was making up for Senior Skip Day on Christmas. After eating and drinking, and eating some more, this run was a bloated mess. There must be some bizarro time warp that happens between Christmas and New Year’s.  I swear, each year I lose all concept of space and time.

Tuesday: Intervals, 8x600m, 400m recovery. Pace, 7:32. With warm up and cool down, 7 miles total. YES! These felt good! Probably because I actually drank WATER and got a decent night’s sleep. Imagine? Huh. Who knew?

Wednesday: This was supposed to be a rest day but because I decided to make Sunday my rest day, I ran. Easy Run, 6 miles. Pace, 9:59. Hey, I didn’t say it was pretty. But I did get it done. Besides, Thursday’s are for Tempo Runs beginning at Week 3. And that’s what scares me. The Dreaded Tempo Run. That’s where the magic happens.

Thursday: Tempo Run, 6 miles at 8:35. With warm up/cool down 8 miles total. Why do the Tempo Runs on Hansons terrify me? Because they’re truly the dress rehearsal for the marathon. That’s what they’re designed for. They are run at your goal marathon pace. Which also means that if you’re not sustaining your goal pace during these runs, perhaps Girlfriend should adjust her goal. However, one bad tempo run does not mean throw the baby out with the bathwater, the tub and the rubber duckie, but if you’re struggling to maintain the pace, you may want to adjust. There are tons of benefits of the Dreaded Tempo Run on this program- training your legs and internalizing marathon pace is key as is improving running economy at goal pace and improving endurance. This week? My tempo run was on point! And so became my confidence. #winner

Friday: Easy Run, 7 miles. Pace, 9:08. What a difference a day makes! I think it was the Tempo Run. Or my new found confidence. Either way, I’ll take it.

Saturday: Easy Run, 6 miles. Pace, 9:13. The last run of 2016! Always my favorite run of the year. Quiet and contemplative, this run always makes me smile. To health! To happiness! To moving forward and never looking back! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Sunday: Long Run, 10 miles. Pace, 9:32. This run was brought to you by the letter “H” for Hungover.Thank you SkratchLabs for keeping me together. I know, I did it to myself.

Total Number of Miles Run: 52
Number of hours spent dreading Tempo Run: 24
Number of times I blamed Drunk Otis for taking my shit: 6

What did you do for New Year’s Eve- Stay In or RAGE? Do you savor your last run of the year? Am I the only one who is a blown out mess? 

Spring Cleaning

Be on the lookout for locusts, because I, who have never met a burger I didn’t like, have spent the past 3 days doing a “Detox Cleanse.” (Rest assured that this post will not address colonics or bodily functions – no need to turn away. It wasn’t that intense of a cleanse. And if it was, I wouldn’t discuss those details anyway.)

I have been feeling like crap for over a month now. Got sick twice and didn’t really do a good job of kicking the bug either time. I am sure that some of it is the time of year and the weather – this happens a lot around here in February/March – but it felt like more than a case of seasonal blahs. I just haven’t felt like myself, and it was really bothering me.

Two separate people (one being Colby) recommended doing a cleanse, so I figured I would give it a shot. I always kinda thought cleanses were for Other People. New Age-y People. Celebrities. Health & Fitness Nuts. People who don’t list pizza, burgers & nachos among their favorite foods. Not that there is anything wrong with cleanses. Just something that I never thought I would try. Which goes to show you how crummy I felt heading into this.

I chose to do a 3-day smoothie cleanse – basically, 4 smoothies a day, plus green tea and water. Each smoothie included fruits, vegetables and some kind of fat/protein. The smoothies (some better than others) were surprisingly filling, and I don’t think I felt hungry more than once or twice – momentarily – during the 3 days. I also took a break from working out while on the cleanse, so maybe my caloric needs weren’t as great. Or maybe it was all the extra almond butter I threw into my smoothies. Whatever the reason, I never really felt hungry or deprived.

As for the results, I call it a success. I don’t know where our scale is, so I have no idea whether I lost weight (although I’m pretty sure I did – probably mostly water weight – given how my clothes feel), but that wasn’t my goal anyway. I do feel lighter. Not necessarily in a weight-way, but definitely less sluggish. Cleaner. Some people report crazy-energy and amazing clarity. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but I think that is because I was expecting something along the lines of the Second Coming of Christ in that department. Easy to disappoint there.

I was never tired during the day, and I usually have a period where I crash in the afternoon (and formerly, grabbed something caffeinated to keep going). Now that I’m off caffeine, hopefully that PM crash will stay away. And given the fact that I ate only blended foods for 3 days, maybe the energy I have had is kind of amazing. It did make me stop and think about how some of the foods I reach for are like anti-fuel, and really sap energy more than they create it. I also woke up every morning feeling refreshed and without a morning “headache” or grogginess.

The best part of the cleanse was that my stomach did not hurt at all during the 3 days. I am sensitive to a bunch of foods, and often have an upset stomach. I’m obviously not sensitive to kale and its friends, because my stomach has not felt this calm in years.

I also learned/realized/noticed the following:

1. My blender is not powerful enough to pulverize kale. I may be picking it out of my teeth for days.

2. I really don’t like green tea. Do people really like it, or do they just pretend to because it is so good for you?

3. I didn’t miss chewing, or bread and snacks, as much as I expected. With the bread and snacks, I think it really is a craving, and once you are off it for a few days, the cravings subside and you don’t miss it.

4. Drinking cold, cold smoothies on chilly, snowy days is really unpleasant.

5. I normally eat a lot of carbs when I’m bored or tired. Since that wasn’t an option for me during the cleanse, I just found something else to do. Good to remember for the future.

6. I really should stay away from caffeine. I usually drink half-caf , and the withdrawal headaches were still really difficult. Fortunately, I stopped caffeine on Friday and didn’t start the cleanse until Tuesday, so the headaches had subsided by then. Weekend was rough, though.

7. I LOVE almond butter.

8. I do have time to prepare a healthy lunch and snacks during the week. If I could find the time these past 3 days to make a crappy-tasting lunch smoothie full of things that need to be washed, measured, squeezed & chopped, I can make a decent salad or soup for lunch going forward. No more PB&J’s.  I am not 7.

9. Spinach is a great addition to a smoothie – unlike the kale, it really blended in and I never noticed it was in there. I’m usually not a big smoothie person, but when I do make them, I’m definitely including spinach.

10. I need to make sure I take my rest days from working out, and really stretch and rest. My muscles feel less sore than they have in months? Years?

I’d definitely call it a worthwhile 3 days. I do feel like I hit “reset” on my body. I feel really good and I hopefully cleaned out some bad habits. That said, it sure was lovely to greet this snowy morning with a cup of hot (decaf) coffee.