3 Day Juice Cleanse: Success!

excited

72 hours of not chewing a damn thing. No food. No tacos. No nothing. Just juice. And dark green juice at that. Done-zo. I neither fainted nor died. Which were both pluses. I managed one run, two walks and a Bikram Yoga class. Otherwise, I laid low. It’s not really the time to run Yasso 800s when you’re consuming just juice and are damn near glycogen depleted. I mean I’m nuts and all, but there was just no way my legs would do it. Nor did I want to. This was a reset for me. A nice calm, green reset.

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Cheers!

I am pleased to report that I did not cheat. Not. Once. Even though I did make dinner for My Beloved which was both torturous, cruel and unnecessary. (I wanted to stick my face in it for Pete’s sake.) Even though He stocked our fridge with my favorite Bordeaux and IPAs. Even though there were homemade dark chocolate covered pretzels on my counter. And Christmas cookies at every turn. I held steady. Here’s why…

Doing this was quite the undertaking. I shopped, juiced, prepped and cleared my schedule of Holiday Shenanigans for 3 days. Note: Buying lots of organic produce ain’t cheap. I also planned it around my training schedule. Because continuing training at my “normal” pace during this would not be conducive to life. I’d be belly up on the floor.  Finding 3 consecutive quiet days in December was harder than I thought. I know. All of this is total selfish nonsense, #firstworld to the max. But investing in your health during the season of over indulgence is important. It sets the tone for the year ahead. So I’ll take being a lil’ selfish.

There were definitely some low, hangry moments. Day 2 was a bear for me. There were also some verrry tempting moments on Day 1 that tested my commitment. I’m looking at YOU, gallon of peanut butter pretzels 3 feet from my desk. Another unnecessary bullshit hurdle. If all of the tempting hurdles taught me anything, it was that I could clear them. Easily.  Will power is really like a super power sometimes.

Somewhere late into day Day 2, it actually became easy.  In a bizarre twist, I had tons of energy and felt sharper. No joke-more clear headed  and with an awful lot of focus. Maybe it’s no sugar? No caffeine? Maybe I imagined it? I really have no definite proof other than to say that come Day 3, I really felt great. I slept soundly. I felt leaner. Slightly meaner 😉 and definitely more clear headed.

So now what? Welp. I am far more motivated to eat cleaner and mind the sugar and caffeine. Maybe limit myself to one coffee, instead of a pot. Or two. Limit the carbs a bit. Clean up the edges. It also eliminated comfort eating. You know when you pad around the kitchen, opening the fridge 100 times then settle for a box of half stale Reduced Fat Wheat Thins? Yeah. That kind of comfort eating. When I felt hungry, I had a glass of water *lightbulb* which curbed the craving. Simple. Basic. And no damn surprise. I haven’t felt this hydrated in months. In fact, I haven’t felt this AWARE in months. Let’s hope it sticks. 😊

What’s your go to comfort food? Do you hang up your water bottle come fall? Would you ever do this?

3 Day Juice Cleanse: Homestretch!

happydance

I’m so close to the end I can taste it. And it doesn’t take like Green Juice. It tastes like pure joy. I’m not gonna lie. Day 2 of this 3 Day Juice Cleanse  was rough. Talk about peaks and valleys. I was a mid-day mess. I may have even gotten a little snappy or, hangry as the kids say. Late afternoon yesterday was the low point. Hungry and just plain pooped. But then things shifted inexplicably and I started to feel much, much better as the day went on. Energized even.

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Me. 3:17pm yesterday.

I am moving on along though, the end CLEARLY in sight. Which brings me to my next point, clarity.  I don’t know if it’s the caloric reduction, the lack of caffeine or what, but I seem to have crazy focus. I also feel a little bit like a fog has lifted. Maybe not fog. Maybe film. I had felt like everything lately- mind included- had been dulled. Like covered in a film. I felt sharper last night and super focused. It was odd. Of course maybe it was just the Herculean willpower I displayed last night, cooking My Other Half dinner. WHICH I DIDN’T EAT. What kind of complete and utter shit is that? I must realllllly love him. I feel like I can hang this over his head a bit. I feel a “Remember that time I was doing a cleanse and was starving and STILL made you dinner like it was 1954 and I was in the kitchen in kitten heels and a cute apron COOKING FOR MY MAN?!?!?!” in my immediate future. I survived though. And he enjoyed supper.

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Seriously.

Last day, Poodles. I’m curious to see if the increased energy/clarity or whatever I’m experiencing hangs through today now that the hump of Day 2 is over. I’m also curious to look around the interwebs and see if people report feeling this way. And of course if there is any scientific proof of it- because I’m a science dork at my very core. Whether it is real or simply perceived doesn’t matter. I feel it. So I’m goin’ with it! 🙂

Have you ever done a fast? Have you ever done a cleanse? Who makes dinner at your house? 

 

3 Day Juice Cleanse: 1 Down, 2 To Go. And yes. I’m starving.

feed me seymor

And by FEED ME, I don’t mean gallons of green shit. I mean trays of pizza. Sweet Clumps of Kale, Day 1 is DONE! Hooray! Actually. I’m being far too dramatic. It really wasn’t that bad. Like at all. In fact, I even managed a short run to break in my new Altra’s and then went to Bikram Yoga.

Hold up, hold up…
Let’s let that sink in.

I am in the throes of a juice cleanse and I went to Bikram Yoga.

WHO AM I?!?!?

Maybe I am shape shifting into Deepak Chopra! I’m a goddamn Paragon of Health! That is of course until Day 4 rolls around and I’m stuffing my gob with scoops of guac and IPAs.  I suppose it could be worse. I could be in the throes of a Stranger Things Netflix binge covered in Dorito dust. At least I’m trying. Tiny victories, Poodles.

As you know, I kicked off my 3 Day Juice cleanse yesterday. No time like a Monday in December when you have a Christmas Cookie Swap at Tina’s the end of the week to start a cleanse. Never fear. It will be wrapped up by then. Yesterday wasn’t so bad! I was juiced, packed and prepped early. Here’s how the 3 Days will go:

8am- 10oz of Grapefruit/Orange Juice Combo. Freshly squeezed. Freshly fresh.

10am- 10oz of Green Juice. This is the main staple of this particular cleanse. It consists of kale, spinach, romaine, green apples, parsley, celery, lemon and cucumbers. I might be forgetting shit. It’s all green. With a splash of yellow. Freshly juiced. Freshly fresh.

12am- You guessed it. 10oz of Green Juice. Again. Uh. huh. Green. Glug, glug.

3pm- 10oz of Lemonade. But not Country Time. Fresh lemons, lime, Grade B Maple Syrup (which, BTW no longer is called that. Now it’s GRADE A, DARK AND ROBUST! I added the exclamation point because it seems necessary. And I love syrup.) and cayenne pepper. I don’t know why, but drinking this makes me feel like Beyonce. If only…

5pm- 10oz of Green Shit Juice. I kid. I love you Green Juice. You make me feel whole.

1hr before bed- Cashew “Milk”.  Raw Cashews, that delicious syrup Vitamixed to a creamy elixir. It is a delight.

That’s all, Folks. See what’s notably missing? Besides beer and garlic knots and chewable food? COFFEE. I’m off caffeine. GAHHHH. That’s worse than anything. I had a very dull headache that did seem to subside as the day went on. I missed coffee yesterday. In fact, I miss it more today but that’s for tomorrow’s post. In addition to all that GREEN, I’ve been drinking quite a bit of water. Which is making me freezing cold. Not kidding. I’m swaddled in fleece and peeing LIKE A BOSS! I am also drinking green tea simply because I am freezing.

I’m not sure if going for a short 30 minute run on the treadmill then doing Bikram was smart, but I felt good. So I went. And sweated PROFUSELY. Of course I re-hydrated. Shit. That’s all I’m doing. Again, don’t follow this nonsense! Check with your doctor before you drink Organic Sludge and do steaming hot yoga! You do YOU. This is simply my opinion and crazy experience.  In an evil nod from the universe, this is what greeted me as I left the gym.  Temptation, much? Whore basket.

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You’re killing me Planet Fitness.

Today admittedly, I’m a little tuckered. But I am not ravenous. I think today I’ll probably just take Drunk Otis for a walk. That may be smarter. The point of this cleanse is to go easy on myself, rest the gut, detox, blah, blah- not beat the snot out of me.  I’ll dial it down. I’m going to have to. I’m dragging at the moment. Time for GREEEEEEEEN.

Until tomorrow, Friends!

xoxo

Have you recently switched running shoes? What do you run in? Have you had to switch because of changes made to the newest edition that didn’t work for you? Why do companies do that? 😦

3 Day Juice Cleanse: Day 1. Oh, this is gonna be good.

juice cleanse elen

Sorry, Ellen. I love ya, but I’m talking about it. I have to. It’s either that or I grab that bag of peanut butter pretzels sitting 3 feet away from me, snatch them like a fiend and inhale every last one, salty peanut buttery pieces flying around my head like a hysterical snow globe. Accountability is key for me. And putting it out there on this little blog is my way of doing so. I’ve embarked on the 3 Day Juice Cleanse before. It’s usually at the onset of training. When I want to get my head set, detox and de-bloat. You know how I love a delicious IPA. Welp. It’s time to PUT THE BEER DOWN COLBY and pick up the GREEN JUICE. You’ve read about my existential crisis and about kicking off base building complete with Bikram Yoga, clearly I’m searching for something. I think it’s just something called health.

Let’s face it. I ain’t getting any younger. While I audibly gasped it pained me to have to check the 45-50 year old box- WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK! – whilst registering for the Vermont City Marathon, I need remind myself that yes, while age ain’t nothin ‘ but a number, my slow post-Boston Marathon recovery, tight ass hips and overall creakiness is more than just a state of mind. It’s real. So, in order to help myself be my best self, I need to invest in my health a bit. Up my health game, if you will. To be kind to my body. Listen to it. Honor it. And to stop being so unnecessarily hard on it. I’m looking at you, Craft Beer. cleanse mindy

Now whether a 3 Day Juice Cleanse is going to transform me into a glowing paragon of perfect health or morph me into Deepak Chopra remains to be seen. My guess is No. It certainly will not. It’s not going to cure me of all of my ills. It’s also not going to make me drop tons and tons of weight either. It’s not a magical elixir.  It’s also not a diet. It’s a reset for me.  It will set the tone for how I want this training cycle to go- healthy, focused and disciplined. It will de-puff and de-bloat me. It will rest my gut a bit. I’m not even sure that a gut needs to be rested. But without bulk in it,  I feel like it will allow for more vitamins and nutrients to be absorbed unhindered. What do I know? I just know what I think. This is strictly my opinion, my crazy ass experience. It’s not a recommendation. So, please, don’t listen to me. You do YOU. – Just read and laugh and share and say Oh, Colby, You cray! Then leave YOU CAN DO IT! in the comments. I’m a biologist not a nutritionist or gastroenterology guru. Just a girl who’s set on drinking green shit in the hopes of feeling better about herself.  That’s all.

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I’m hoping my 3 Day Juice Cleanse will be a break from my dependence on caffeine which is GETTING OUT OF CONTROL. I’m wired for sound lately. It’s a bit much. I’m several hours and two juices into my day and already I can feel an ache of a headache sans caffeine. That’s just dumb.  I need to throttle back.  I’m also hoping that it will inspire me to up my water consumption from thimble to actual glass. I’m awful lately.  Dehydration alone can be contributing my my issues-  dry flaky skin included.

britney cleanse

So here goes nothing. I just swilled my first of many Green Juices and I didn’t die. All total today I will have 1 Orange/Grapefruit Juice, 3 Green Juices, 1 “Lemonade”, and 1 Cashew “Milk” and of course water and non-caffeine herbal teas if I want.  I’ll explain more later provided you don’t find me rocking in the corner bingeing on peanut butter pretzels. Imma look and feel fabulous! At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Who am I kidding? I’m going to be a salty swearing starving Pirate. But hopefully I’ll have good skin and de-puffed belly. Stay tuned!

Have you ever tried a juice cleanse? Would you ever try a juice cleanse?