When is it time to hire a coach? Answer: NOW!

So I did a thing a few weeks ago. I hired a coach. WHHHAAATTT??? I know.  I don’t even know who I am anymore. What prompted this very Adult-Runner decision was running yet another marathon –  and missing my mark. I ran Sugarloaf Marathon in Maine several weeks ago and while I didn’t have a horrible race, I did fall short of my goal. As per recent years, I trained using my beloved Hanson’s Marathon Method which kicks your ass, then hands it to you in a fatigued, sweaty heap.  You’re exhausted, but you are ready. Hanson’s is tough. As I know from experience, it’s quasi-unorthodox method works for me. At least it had until it didn’t. My training block went well this time around with Hanson’s.  I believe I only missed 2 runs due to minor injury,  but after reflecting on Sugarloaf, I felt like my training was missing something.  I ran the miles. I hit the paces. I checked off the boxes as I had in the past. I even had some really excellent tempo runs. But, it seemed like something was off. Did I have Hanson’s Fatigue? Was my body getting too used to this type of training?  Did I need something different to mix it up? My running needed SOMETHING more. *cue hiring Coach*

There are a million reasons why you fall short of reaching your goal. Physical, psychological, mother nature, the course, your stomach, your ankle, the stars not aligning properly, not wearing you’re lucky ponytail holder…..the list goes on, real or perceived. No matter how many marathons you’ve run, there is ALWAYS room for improvement. For me, after many cycles with Hanson’s, religiously following their sadistic program,  I felt like it was time for a change. Don’t get me wrong, Hanson’s got me all the way to Boston. It works, but now I feel like I’ve plateaued. It’s not you Hanson’s, it’s me.

its not you its me

Here’s the short list of why I hired a coach. Again, in the interest of full disclosure. I’m not some super-certified running guru. I’m just a girl with a blog who loves lobster rolls, IPAs and running. (A lot.) I’m also a girl who has goals. It’s been almost 2 weeks with my new coach and here’s why I’m loving my decision already.

  • Accountability. I never really had a tough time being held accountable. I documented my running exploits often on this little blog.  I put it out there. But something about having a Running Table for Two makes the accountability even more real. It’s keeping me honest and completely on-task. My Garmin uploads directly to the training app we use the moment I hit save. I can count on feedback within the hour. It’s magical.
  • Interaction. This is key. Having someone to really talk to about your runs, how you’re feeling and where you’re at is something I am finding invaluable. For instance, I had a horrible cold last week. Previously I would have just plowed on through. It’s on the schedule, therefore I must run in spite of this hacking cough! Let’s be honest, we runners are terrible patients. With my coach, he adjusted my workout based on my need. As a result, I had a much better speed workout because I was rested. Who knew? (I’m laughing. We all know. We just don’t do it. Until someone we respect tells us to. Directly.)
  • Fit. If you are going to choose a coach, make sure it’s the right coach for you. I spoke with several of of my coach’s clients – super fast, fast and downright normal runners – and got feedback from each one. Pluses, minuses, likes, dislikes, whether or not they improved- anything I could think of.  Usually coaches have options available.  Whether they put together an individual plan for you or have one on one coaching with feedback – there are usually multiple plans to choose from ranging in  the amount of interaction and cost to fit your budget.
  • Variability. I am digging the variability in the workouts! I mean, it’s running. You run. How fun can it be? OH BUT WAIT, POODLE! It really can be fun!  Mixing up speeds, times, distances, surges, intervals- it’s not just the same old same old. In order to get fast, you need to run fast. And I ‘m learning that there are MANY ways to do so. It’s like a breath of fresh air.
  • Permission. Here’s a surprising one. Like I mentioned before, I was sick all week. I had a full running week as well as a 50 mile bike ride on Saturday and a long run on Sunday. My coach messaged me and wished me luck for Saturday’s ride then added – let’s see how you feel for Sunday. I’d rather have you get some extra rest. I don’t want this cough to linger. So instead of running long, I ran easy and short, just enough to shake out the legs. It may sound silly, but if I’m going to follow a plan, I FOLLOW THE PLAN. I spent 13 years in Catholic school. Discipline and guilt run strong up in here. I wasn’t slacking. I was sick and resting. I’m sure we can do a full on psychoanalysis of this another time,  but being given permission to sit on the couch and catch up on Real Housewives instead of slogging through a run just to get the miles in, meant an awful lot to me. It was a stress lifted. Permission granted and accepted.
  • Motivation. I have been more inspired to run in the past several weeks than I have in a very long time. I attribute that to the decision to hire a coach. It’s new. It’s fresh. And I am excited! Running was starting to feel like a chore for me. It was sapping the fun out of it. Even though you have big goals and are serious about what you’re doing, doesn’t mean that you have to be miserable doing it. Just keep that in mind. 🙂

Have you thought about hiring a coach? Do you have one? Are you one?! What would you look for in hiring a coach? Do you love lobster rolls as much as I do? 

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3 Day Juice Cleanse: Success!

excited

72 hours of not chewing a damn thing. No food. No tacos. No nothing. Just juice. And dark green juice at that. Done-zo. I neither fainted nor died. Which were both pluses. I managed one run, two walks and a Bikram Yoga class. Otherwise, I laid low. It’s not really the time to run Yasso 800s when you’re consuming just juice and are damn near glycogen depleted. I mean I’m nuts and all, but there was just no way my legs would do it. Nor did I want to. This was a reset for me. A nice calm, green reset.

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Cheers!

I am pleased to report that I did not cheat. Not. Once. Even though I did make dinner for My Beloved which was both torturous, cruel and unnecessary. (I wanted to stick my face in it for Pete’s sake.) Even though He stocked our fridge with my favorite Bordeaux and IPAs. Even though there were homemade dark chocolate covered pretzels on my counter. And Christmas cookies at every turn. I held steady. Here’s why…

Doing this was quite the undertaking. I shopped, juiced, prepped and cleared my schedule of Holiday Shenanigans for 3 days. Note: Buying lots of organic produce ain’t cheap. I also planned it around my training schedule. Because continuing training at my “normal” pace during this would not be conducive to life. I’d be belly up on the floor.  Finding 3 consecutive quiet days in December was harder than I thought. I know. All of this is total selfish nonsense, #firstworld to the max. But investing in your health during the season of over indulgence is important. It sets the tone for the year ahead. So I’ll take being a lil’ selfish.

There were definitely some low, hangry moments. Day 2 was a bear for me. There were also some verrry tempting moments on Day 1 that tested my commitment. I’m looking at YOU, gallon of peanut butter pretzels 3 feet from my desk. Another unnecessary bullshit hurdle. If all of the tempting hurdles taught me anything, it was that I could clear them. Easily.  Will power is really like a super power sometimes.

Somewhere late into day Day 2, it actually became easy.  In a bizarre twist, I had tons of energy and felt sharper. No joke-more clear headed  and with an awful lot of focus. Maybe it’s no sugar? No caffeine? Maybe I imagined it? I really have no definite proof other than to say that come Day 3, I really felt great. I slept soundly. I felt leaner. Slightly meaner 😉 and definitely more clear headed.

So now what? Welp. I am far more motivated to eat cleaner and mind the sugar and caffeine. Maybe limit myself to one coffee, instead of a pot. Or two. Limit the carbs a bit. Clean up the edges. It also eliminated comfort eating. You know when you pad around the kitchen, opening the fridge 100 times then settle for a box of half stale Reduced Fat Wheat Thins? Yeah. That kind of comfort eating. When I felt hungry, I had a glass of water *lightbulb* which curbed the craving. Simple. Basic. And no damn surprise. I haven’t felt this hydrated in months. In fact, I haven’t felt this AWARE in months. Let’s hope it sticks. 😊

What’s your go to comfort food? Do you hang up your water bottle come fall? Would you ever do this?

3 Day Juice Cleanse: Homestretch!

happydance

I’m so close to the end I can taste it. And it doesn’t take like Green Juice. It tastes like pure joy. I’m not gonna lie. Day 2 of this 3 Day Juice Cleanse  was rough. Talk about peaks and valleys. I was a mid-day mess. I may have even gotten a little snappy or, hangry as the kids say. Late afternoon yesterday was the low point. Hungry and just plain pooped. But then things shifted inexplicably and I started to feel much, much better as the day went on. Energized even.

exhausted

Me. 3:17pm yesterday.

I am moving on along though, the end CLEARLY in sight. Which brings me to my next point, clarity.  I don’t know if it’s the caloric reduction, the lack of caffeine or what, but I seem to have crazy focus. I also feel a little bit like a fog has lifted. Maybe not fog. Maybe film. I had felt like everything lately- mind included- had been dulled. Like covered in a film. I felt sharper last night and super focused. It was odd. Of course maybe it was just the Herculean willpower I displayed last night, cooking My Other Half dinner. WHICH I DIDN’T EAT. What kind of complete and utter shit is that? I must realllllly love him. I feel like I can hang this over his head a bit. I feel a “Remember that time I was doing a cleanse and was starving and STILL made you dinner like it was 1954 and I was in the kitchen in kitten heels and a cute apron COOKING FOR MY MAN?!?!?!” in my immediate future. I survived though. And he enjoyed supper.

Funny-memes-Oven

Seriously.

Last day, Poodles. I’m curious to see if the increased energy/clarity or whatever I’m experiencing hangs through today now that the hump of Day 2 is over. I’m also curious to look around the interwebs and see if people report feeling this way. And of course if there is any scientific proof of it- because I’m a science dork at my very core. Whether it is real or simply perceived doesn’t matter. I feel it. So I’m goin’ with it! 🙂

Have you ever done a fast? Have you ever done a cleanse? Who makes dinner at your house? 

 

3 Day Juice Cleanse: 1 Down, 2 To Go. And yes. I’m starving.

feed me seymor

And by FEED ME, I don’t mean gallons of green shit. I mean trays of pizza. Sweet Clumps of Kale, Day 1 is DONE! Hooray! Actually. I’m being far too dramatic. It really wasn’t that bad. Like at all. In fact, I even managed a short run to break in my new Altra’s and then went to Bikram Yoga.

Hold up, hold up…
Let’s let that sink in.

I am in the throes of a juice cleanse and I went to Bikram Yoga.

WHO AM I?!?!?

Maybe I am shape shifting into Deepak Chopra! I’m a goddamn Paragon of Health! That is of course until Day 4 rolls around and I’m stuffing my gob with scoops of guac and IPAs.  I suppose it could be worse. I could be in the throes of a Stranger Things Netflix binge covered in Dorito dust. At least I’m trying. Tiny victories, Poodles.

As you know, I kicked off my 3 Day Juice cleanse yesterday. No time like a Monday in December when you have a Christmas Cookie Swap at Tina’s the end of the week to start a cleanse. Never fear. It will be wrapped up by then. Yesterday wasn’t so bad! I was juiced, packed and prepped early. Here’s how the 3 Days will go:

8am- 10oz of Grapefruit/Orange Juice Combo. Freshly squeezed. Freshly fresh.

10am- 10oz of Green Juice. This is the main staple of this particular cleanse. It consists of kale, spinach, romaine, green apples, parsley, celery, lemon and cucumbers. I might be forgetting shit. It’s all green. With a splash of yellow. Freshly juiced. Freshly fresh.

12am- You guessed it. 10oz of Green Juice. Again. Uh. huh. Green. Glug, glug.

3pm- 10oz of Lemonade. But not Country Time. Fresh lemons, lime, Grade B Maple Syrup (which, BTW no longer is called that. Now it’s GRADE A, DARK AND ROBUST! I added the exclamation point because it seems necessary. And I love syrup.) and cayenne pepper. I don’t know why, but drinking this makes me feel like Beyonce. If only…

5pm- 10oz of Green Shit Juice. I kid. I love you Green Juice. You make me feel whole.

1hr before bed- Cashew “Milk”.  Raw Cashews, that delicious syrup Vitamixed to a creamy elixir. It is a delight.

That’s all, Folks. See what’s notably missing? Besides beer and garlic knots and chewable food? COFFEE. I’m off caffeine. GAHHHH. That’s worse than anything. I had a very dull headache that did seem to subside as the day went on. I missed coffee yesterday. In fact, I miss it more today but that’s for tomorrow’s post. In addition to all that GREEN, I’ve been drinking quite a bit of water. Which is making me freezing cold. Not kidding. I’m swaddled in fleece and peeing LIKE A BOSS! I am also drinking green tea simply because I am freezing.

I’m not sure if going for a short 30 minute run on the treadmill then doing Bikram was smart, but I felt good. So I went. And sweated PROFUSELY. Of course I re-hydrated. Shit. That’s all I’m doing. Again, don’t follow this nonsense! Check with your doctor before you drink Organic Sludge and do steaming hot yoga! You do YOU. This is simply my opinion and crazy experience.  In an evil nod from the universe, this is what greeted me as I left the gym.  Temptation, much? Whore basket.

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You’re killing me Planet Fitness.

Today admittedly, I’m a little tuckered. But I am not ravenous. I think today I’ll probably just take Drunk Otis for a walk. That may be smarter. The point of this cleanse is to go easy on myself, rest the gut, detox, blah, blah- not beat the snot out of me.  I’ll dial it down. I’m going to have to. I’m dragging at the moment. Time for GREEEEEEEEN.

Until tomorrow, Friends!

xoxo

Have you recently switched running shoes? What do you run in? Have you had to switch because of changes made to the newest edition that didn’t work for you? Why do companies do that? 😦

I’m all about that base, ’bout that base…

START TRAINING!

Yes, Poodles. It’s time. Time for your old, tired, haggard pal Colby to get her shit together, hunker down and GET SERIOUS about running. It’s base building season. And dare I say I’ve cannonballed right on in. A good base is like a nice solid granite foundation, which will support the demands of marathon training with Hanson’s Marathon Method. Ahhh. My beloved Hanson’s.

I love to despise this plan. However, it really works for me. Of course I cry, sweat, and curse the heavens because of it, but who am I fooling? I love the discipline. I mean, I am a recovering Catholic School kid who had 13 consecutive years of nuns, this broad breathes discipline. I love the training. I love seeing the progress. I love the work. Sadists. Runners are sadists. And I am a card carrying one.

In my quest to get my body and head set for marathon training with Hanson’s, I’ve begun slowly ramping up my running. Mostly easy-effort runs with some intervals and miles at marathon pace thrown in for good measure. I’ve never stopped running, but I’ve definitely been throwing in more trails and stair mill workouts to mix things up a bit. I haven’t been running mega miles, but I am increasing my mileage weekly. I have an ankle with some hardware in it. Girlfriend likes to build slowly. Or she goes on strike. And limping isn’t cute.

Regular HIIT workouts have also been contributing to my base. HIIT workouts involve intense bursts of high-intensity exercise intervals followed by periods of low-intensity active rest- or even total rest. And they’re efficient. Like, 20 minutes or less. They also kick your ass upside down in your own living room. I found this chick on YouTube. Zuzka. 15 minutes of sheer hell. As they say in the biz, she is FIERCE. She had me at- I made it without vomitting. Yes. That’s the title of one of her HIIT workouts. Yes. Of course I immediately tried it. And, yes. I made it without puking. Although I may have dry heaved a little.

Go ahead. Try it. Report back. She’s no joke.

So now for the head set part of base building. Last you found me, I was in the throes of a Sunday night existential crisis resulting in me registering for the Vermont City Marathon and joining a Bikram Yoga studio. I know, what happened to a bottle of wine and an online shopping skin and hair products binge? I am pleased to report that I have been attending class 3-4 times per week like a good sweaty little yogi. WHO AM I?!? I’ll tell you who I am. An unbalanced, tight, hot mess.

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Me. Dripping mascara and all. 

For the love of namaste, I suck at this. Which is precisely why I must go. They don’t call yoga a practice for nothing. I am seeing progress. Although it’s not getting easier. I think that’s the hook. To keep at it. Bikram builds strength, flexibility, balance and, at 105 degrees, mental and physical stamina. Some days I’m stronger. Some days I’m more balanced. Some days I’m more flexible. All days I’m focused. Grounded, even. So I guess that’s a very good place to start- right at the base. Bottoms up, Friends! ☺️

Have you ever tried Bikram Yoga? Do you base train prior to kicking off marathon training? Did that HIIT workout make you puke? Want to run the Vermont City Marathon with me in Burlington, Vermont Memorial Day Weekend? Register with my link- HERE!

The Sunday Night Existential Crisis


Damn you, Weekend. Where have you gone? And for the love of all things Sunday, why do I get an insta-stomach ache when it gets to like, 8pm and I get the I DON’T WANNA GO TO WORK 3rd grade hissy fit going? It’s usually followed by a super dramatic stomp to the laundry room only to realize that I haven’t thrown my favorite running duds in the washer and what’s in the washer smells like dirty moldy feet because it’s been there since Friday, soaking wet.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?!

*throws self on hardwood floor, clutches knees, and yells WHHHHHYYYYY a la Nancy Kerrigan circa 1994 clubbing*

Hello, Sunday Night Existential Crisis! It’s that moment each and every damn week where I question the very foundations of my existence. We’re talking frenzy, Poodles. What does it all mean? What’s the point of all this? When I am long gone, will I have left a teeny tiny mark, ON ANYTHING? Oh, yeah. We’re talkin’ DEFCON level 10 drama.

This shit more often than not follows a great weekend that I don’t want to end. This time it was a quiet weekend with My Other Half and the pups, running, hiking, exploring and relaxing together in Vermont. Nothing mega fab. Just quiet. No TV. No WIFI. Just books, beer, blankets and each other. Simple. Paired down. Together. I love weekends like that. I usually come home and rant about downsizing, camper van adventures, tiny homes and living off the grid.

These kind of weekends really do make me question my life choices. From lifestyle to work to what goals I am setting to what race I’m running to why aren’t i doing yoga to…..EVERYTHING. And then I stomp around like Grouchy Smurf instead of actually doing something. Totally crippled by my own ridiculous inertia. Such a brat.

So. Now that I’ve called myself out on my petulant self, here’s what I just did.

  1. Registered for the Vermont City Marathon
  2. Bought an unlimited month of yoga
  3. Re-Washed my damn running clothes

Boom. DONE. There. Take THAT Existential Crisis. NOW I have a plan. Because if I can bitch and sulk and stomp around yelling GAAAAAHHHH all Sunday night, I can damn well sit my ass down, be grateful for a lovely weekend, be thankful to have been surrounded with all that I love and decide what the fuck I am running this spring, sign up for a yoga class tomorrow and do my damn laundry.

Enough. GET IT TOGETHER, COLBY.

I feel better already. ☺️

Do you have an occasional Existential Crisis? Or are they just reserved for major life changes? What are you doing with your life? 😜

5 Years a Blogger

So this happened.


TODAY IS MARATHON AND A SPRINT DAY! Imma hashtag the snot out of that! #marathonandsprintday Yippeee! Lobster rolls and IPAs for everyone! FIVE YEARS.  I can’t believe it. Tina and I started this blog 5 damn years ago on this very day.  What a fun day! I’ll never forget it. She called me on the phone.  The actual phone. As in, my land line. We weren’t wildly texting every 7 minutes like we are now.  Or using emojis. That’s how long ago it was. The internet existed. That much I know.  Anywho, she telephoned me with a crazy little idea….

Colby. It’s T. How’s about we start a blog? You’re bored. I need a creative outlet. We both run. We love it. We both ride. And. We both think we’re goddamn HI. LARIOUS. I love to write. You love to swear…. COME ON!!!  Whaddya think?

-Tina

And voila! Our fun, little, irreverent, snarky, sassy adventure blog was born. Thank god I started blogging again and reset my wordpress password. I would have totally missed this shit.

When you run Boston with your best friend 💛💙

The posts. Oh, the posts. Some silly, some serious, all in our own voices. I never look at blog stats. I’m sure that statement rescinds my Blogger Card, but I really don’t. Until tonight. I sifted through our “top” posts- a lot of which aren’t even my most favorite. *See my face plant and Tina’s allergic reaction below.* Those are two of my faves because they were 100% real. Real Colby and Real Tina. Uncensored. That’s not to say the others are #fakeblogs. They’re not. Those two were a couple of the MOST hysterical and memorable moments from the past few years. Christ. I had plastic surgery. ON MY FACE. Tina blew up like a puffer fish, put on her sunnies, took a handful of Benedryl and ran a marathon 4 hours later. Who does that? Of course Tina’s First Boston and selfishly my first Boston posts pretty much make me cry with joy every time I reread them. Those are biggies. Here are our top 10 most popular posts from the past 5 Years according to the numbahs.

  1. The Importance of Meeting Ernest
  2. Top 5 Reasons Why You Need to Do the Fenway Spartan Sprint
  3. Jellybeans: The Next Superfood?
  4. And then I exhaled.
  5. Is Anyone Ever The Biggest Winner?
  6. Top 10 Moments Riding in the Pan Mass Challenge
  7. Trader Joe is a crack dealer.
  8. An Open Letter to the Lady in the Way Too Huge Cotton Tee
  9. The Secret of the Pan Mass Challenge
  10. Brighten Up! 6 High Visibility Items for Running in Low Light

So, in summary, reviewing our past 5 years T-Bone and I have…

  • Run dozens of half marathons together. Seriously. So many combined.
  • PR’d in every damn distance- 5k, 20k, Half Marathon and Marathon
  • Run Marine Corps, Vermont City, New York, Philadelphia, Big Sur, Baystate, BOSTON (!!!) and more!
  • Met Bloggers in Real Life- and consider them friends! ❤️
  • Ridden several thousand miles all in the name of kicking cancer’s ass
  • Run a snowshoe 10k in sub-zero temps up a mountain in Vermont
  • Run an Ultra Marathon (Colby)
  • Run Spartan Races and Warrior Dashes galore!
  • Wound up in the ER (Colby) with stitches after face planting during a 20 miler
  • Discovered Hanson’s Marathon Method and both wept with pure joy and absolute exhaustion at the discovery
  • Would up with a massive allergic reaction (Tina) from ingesting no-frills-low-budget nuts the night before a marathon
  • Ran, rode, traveled, trained, reached goals, cried, complained, crashed and burned and qualified- together. I love you, T-Bone!!! ❤️
  • Had a hell of a lot of fun meeting a fantastic community of other Crazies (You) who are passionate about running, friendship and living life loud. Muahhhh! ❤️

Here’s to 5 more years! We may blog. We may take time outs. We may rant. And we may rave. But odds are, we’ll do it together. Thank you for follow along. ☺️ CHEERS, POODLES!!!

Xoxo,

Colby

It starts with one.

One blog post. After 6 months of not posting.

One trail race. After running the race of my dreams.

One goat yoga class. After realizing my hip flexors were so tight I could play the opening chords of Stairway to Heaven on them. (And because baby goats. Let’s be honest.)

One amazing dirtbag adventure. After months of planning with The Gang.

One 200 mile bike ride across the great state of Massachusetts. After committing to kick cancer’s ass in my 13th Pan Mass Challenge.

One week spent in Wellfleet eating oysters and drinking delicious IPAs. After riding said cancer fighting bike like a Cancer Fighting Boss.

One time out.
To regroup.
Reset.
Reassess.
And say…
Now Fucking What?

mrs roperI think there comes a time after accomplishing a goal when you’re left a little dumbfounded.  Maybe dumbfounded isn’t quite right. Stunned? Stupefied? Dazed? All of the above?!  You may even find yourself a little lost. Funny. You think the momentum of achieving a goal would buoy you into setting another. But alas, Poodles. It did not. Not for me. The tide did not work that way for Colby. I stayed kinda still. Sure. I basked in the achievement. I even did stuff. Athletic stuff. And then I wandered around my own head a bit.

 

Boston was the cherry on the tippity top of my sundae. A big old exclamation point at the end of a long run on sentence. Even though I didn’t have the race I trained for, I had the race of my dreams. I felt so damn fulfilled afterwards. Like, if I never ran another step I would be OK with that. I felt like I had come so far. That my training was the best I had ever done. I felt like I was in The Fittest I had ever been. And it would have been ok if I never ran again. Hung up my Hokas and sat the eff down.  Because I felt like I was at the top of my game. And that wasn’t even with a PR. 

That was really how I felt. About running. About where I was at that point and time. I was all set. I know. Crazy talk. But true. And seeing as how I’m being honest and all, my body was honestly beaten down to a goddamn pulp after Boston. Totally broken. I was exhausted. I needed a time out. Big time. So I put my Hansons Marathon Method book back on the shelf- where I could still see her- and ran when I wanted to. Not because I had to. And I rode my bike. A lot. I hiked a ton and even managed to do some yoga. I even have been hitting the trails. But now, I’m getting a lil’ antsy.

It’s time.

I think I’ve asked myself – So now what, Colby? About a million times since running Boston. I’ve run, raced, yoga’d with baby goats (EPIC!), traveled, ridden, laughed with My Other Half and tooled around town with Drunk Otis Brown for months. But now. I think it’s time to jump back IN.  Into what,  I’m not sure. A kiddie pool of unicorns and BQs? A race in another part of the world? A half marathon PR?  Another stab at an ultra?  I’m not sure yet. But I’m ready. Stay tuned.

To being back! Cheers, Friends!

Have you ever found yourself semi-paralyzed after achieving a goal? Or, do you set another one right away, raising the bar higher? 

The Weekly Running Recap: And now, the end is near, and so I face the final tempo run…

My friend, I’ll say it clear. I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain…

THANK EFFEN GOD THE TRAINING IS OVER. 

The Oscars GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

No offense Hansons, but I am STOKED. The work. The stress. The tired legs. The “No thank you. I’ll just have water” is fucking done-zo. I couldn’t be happier if I tried. Week 17 of training with Hanson’s Marathon Method ended not with a bang, but with a gentle, exhausted whimper. And maybe also with a firm fist pump. We have arrived. Welcome to Taper Town. The speed limit is 3mph. Don’t over do it. I’m overwhelmed. I’ll admit it. In fact I’ll save my hysterical thoughts for another post. For now, here’s how the final week of Colby’s Magical Boston Marathon training went! 

Monday: Easy Run. 6 miles. 9:13 pace with my chocolate monster, The Incomparable Drunk Otis Brown. This has become the routine. And he knows it. He grabs his leash and puts his face in my lap, both drooling and completely prohibiting me from lacing up my kicks. He’s a mess. But I love him. 

Tuesday: Strength Intervals. 6 x 1mile, 400m recovery. 11 miles total. 8:10 pace. AND THAT’S A WRAP!!!! Best I’ve felt this whole Strength Interval section. For reals. Brought a tear to my eye and everything. Ahhhh. Done. 

Wednesday: RESTFUCKINGDAY. Zero miles. Pace 0mph. Absolute. Zero. 

Thursday: Tempo Run. 10 miles at marathon pace, 8:35. 12 miles total. There is NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING like running your final tempo run. My legs were TIRED. My glute was not happy. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But I finished that shit like I broke the tape on Bolyston. WINNNNNNER! It was ugly. But it was done. And now I must rest. 

Friday: Easy 7 miles. Ummmm. No. Instead, 60 minutes on the elliptical followed by a deep tissue massage. My legs were not happy. They were miserable. So instead of slugging through 7 painful miles, I cross trained and went to my gifted massage therapist. When I got there she said:  Looks like I’ve gotta clean this shit up. And then I burst into a sweat. 

Saturday: Easy Run. 8 miles. 9:01 pace. New. Legs. I’m not kidding. So much better. Find a good massage therapist. Someone who gets it. They will change your life. And keep you moving. 

The Thrill of the Done

Sunday: Easy Run. 8 miles. 8:58 pace. New Legs Act II: Shut up and Taper. 

  • Total Number of Miles Run: 45
  • Number of Hours Spent On The Elliptical Because I Felt Broken: 1 hour
  • Number of Times I Had To Pinch Myself Because I Still Can’t Believe I’m Running Boston: 6  

When is the last time you’ve been genuinely, legitimately excited about something? How do you celebrate a monumental occasion? When is the last time you cried from pure joy? 

The Weekly Running Recap: Are we there yet? 

For the love of fartleks, are we there yet??? I mean. ARE. WE. THERE. YET.  I’ve aged.  I am haggard. I’m crying into my delicious IPA nightly. When can I taper?!?!?! This seems like the longest training in the history of training. All is going well *knocks on as much wood as she can find*, but it’s time to wrap it up. Sweet Unicorns. Let’s do this.

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Welcome to Week 16 of Colby’s Magical Boston Marathon Training with Sir Hansons Marathon Method. I am in the Homestretch. Two weeks to go before I’m toeing the line in Hopkinton, smiling ear to ear with a combination of butterflies and straight up nerves.  Why aren’t you tapering yet, Dear Colby?

Because Hansons Marathon Method has what we call in the biz, a short shit taper.  Ten days. The first time I used Hansons- which is what got me into this mess and Boston in the first place- the taper came as a complete surprise to me. How had I missed it? A 10 DAY TAPER???? I was despondent. I will say that despite my initial shock, horror and reservations, it really worked for me. Brilliantly. Come race day I felt shockingly fresh. I need to focus on that memory. Put it smack in the middle of my mind’s eye. So, in the spirit of Trusting Thy Training, I am trying to head back into that head space. The “10 Day Taper Makes You Feel Like a Zippy Running Fiend!” head space.  And not let the people all over social media who have been tapering for WEEKS – Ok. I’m being dramatic – ruin my mind set –But THEY HAVE BEEN!!!  See? It’s work, Poodles. I’m a lot of work.

Here’s how last week went!

Monday: Easy 6 miles. 9:23 pace. A lovely First Day of Spring Run with the Incomparable Drunk Otis! It was beautiful out. We had a blast. Until Oats almost ate a small poodle en route home. #snack

Tuesday: Strength Intervals. 4 x 1.5 miles, 800m recovery. 8:13 pace. 10 miles total. Thank goodness these are almost over. Believe me. l will not be sorry to see these little bastards go. However, I will say that if you are training for a marathon- either with Hansons or without- intervals work. They make you run faster. They make you run stronger. It’s been amazing to see the progress. Awww. Maybe I’m not happy to see them go…

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Wednesday: RESTFUCKINGDAY. Zero miles. Two glasses of Rosé. And Wine Bingo. Or, W-I-N-E-O as it were. It’s like real BINGO but waaaay better. So much fun and silliness. Perfect Rest Day shenanigans.

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So much fun!

Thursday: Tempo Run. 10 miles at 8:35. 12 miles total. GET ‘ER DONE! A chorus of angels croon “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS-AH.”

Friday: Easy Run. 6 miles. 9:30 pace. Tired, heavy sausages. That’s what my legs felt like. Awful, tired run.

Saturday: Easy Run. 10 miles. 9:12 pace. What a difference! It’s this bizarre phenomenon. The Easy Run after the Tempo Run totally sucks. Sausage Suffer Fest every damn time. Then Saturday’s run? Heaven. Never fails.

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I love my Janji hat but I’d like to stop wearing it. Because Spring.


Sunday: Easy Run. 10 miles. 6 miles.  8:55 pace. Why? Because Brunch with Friends. Here’s what happened. There was an awesome trail race in my town. The Bimbler’s Bash. It’s one of my all time favorites. However, with my knack for falling on my face and winding up with plastic surgery, I decided to pass. Besides, I like my teeth. My friends were running it though. So my plan was to run to the race, cheer them on, run back to town and eat brunch all together. Only I passed on the “run back to town” portion of that sentence and ate a delicious omelette, drank coffee, laughed with friends and planned our June Dirtbag Adventure. (Stay tuned!)

I regret nothing.

  • Total number of miles run: 50
  • Number of times Drunk Otis turned around and gave the side eye to that poodle whilst running: 3
  • Number of substantial runs that stand between me and my taper: 2

How long do you taper for? Do you get punchy while tapering? When’s the last time you played a game?