Wrapped in Love

Only in Boston is the most revered running accessory one that you would never actually wear while running. Yup, thanks to the “Marathon Scarf Project,” a hand-knitted scarf is the most prized of all of the wonderful Boston Marathon items you can get during marathon weekend.

The Old South Church is only 100 feet away from the Boston Marathon finish line and was a place of aid, comfort and solace for many following the horrible events in 2013. The Old South Church Knitters Club decided in 2014 to knit scarves for the runners.

As the club says, “the thought was to wrap runners in marathon blue and yellow scarves knitted with love and courage.”

The idea went viral and over 7000 hand knitted scarves were sent from all over the world for the club to hand out to the runners over the 2014 marathon weekend. Volunteers stood outside the church and bestowed passing runners with a scarf and a blessing.

This year, the church did not run a formal project again, but many knitters still wanted to knit for the runners, and reached out in other ways to get scarves to runners. I was fortunate to see offers for scarves on the Boston Marathon Forum run by Runner’s World and was thrilled to get one. An angel from Los Angeles knitted the beautiful scarf I’m wearing in the picture below and mailed it to me so I would have it in time for Marathon Weekend.

Waiting for the 57 Bus to take me into the Expo...in my beautiful new scarf!
Waiting for the bus to take me in to the Expo…wearing my beautiful new scarf!

Don’t get me wrong – I love my medal. Oh, how I love my medal (and when I write about the race weather in my recap, you will see, Oh, how I earned my medal!), but it is not my favorite Boston Marathon neck accessory. Not by a longshot.

Here is the beautiful note that she sent along with the scarf.


Katherine Switzer, the first woman to officially enter and run the Boston Marathon, once said, ‘If you are losing faith in human nature, go out and watch a marathon.” Thanks to the magic that is Boston, at this marathon your faith will be restored even before the first runner takes a single step.

Birthday Bimbler’s Bash!

A Wheely Good Birthday
Wheely Good Coffee, Presents and the Sun. Happy Birthday to Me!

Big Birthday Weekend for Colby! And what, pray tell did I get for my Birthday, you ask?


It was glorious! Two magnificent spring days! It was just what I wanted. Awww. Thanks, Mother Nature. And in the nick of time! Just when I thought I would shank you, you send the sun out to warm my Vitamin D deprived heart. You’re a peach.

The weekend started off with sushi and cocktails and segued into a Gorgeous Birthday Trail Run, followed by a bike ride on our old Schwinn Cruisers to breakfast OUTSIDE!, a walk with the pups, more cocktails and dinner at a delicious tapas joint.

And then there were 7…

Oh. And more wine. You’re sensing a theme here, right?

My Other Half and I registered to run a 10k (ish) trail race, The Bimbler’s Bash, on Sunday morning. It seemed like a good decision when we pre-reg’d a week prior. Our pre-race fuel? Octopus leg (see above), skate (aka, The Doormat of the Sea), empanadas and a gallon of Albarino. If you’re wondering how one races on octopus leg and copious amounts of Spanish wine, it’s gingerly. One races gingerly.

Bimbler's Bashe

The good thing about The Bimbler’s Bash is that it’s right smack in my hometown. So when you wake up late with an octopus hangover, it is comforting to know that your 10k(ish) trail race is a mere 2 miles from home. If we had had our shit together, we would have run there. Alas, ’twas not the case. But dammit we made it. (Thank you, Skratch Labs Hydration Mix) And we were smiling!

The Bimbler’s Bash runs through Westwoods Trails in Guilford, Connecticut. Westwoods is beautiful. It’s very well marked and maintained by the Guilford Land Conservation Trust. I run there often. But never often enough to really know my way around. Which is a complete shame, and something I plan on addressing this summer. It’s the perfect place to get lost in. Because when you’re 2 miles away, you’re never THAT far from home. The trail system has about 39 miles of trails with really interesting features: caves, lakes, streams, rivers and all sorts of cool rock formations. We actually scrambled up several of them.

Scramble Colby, Scramble. Photo: C & D Studios

The terrain is technical, with lots of single track, rocks and tons of roots. Throw in a hangover and you’re falling on your face. It’s awesome. And I love running there. But racing there on a beautiful spring day, with your cyclist boyfriend who I swear was an Elite runner in a past life ? PERFECTIONBimbler Forest GumpI guess they weren’t kidding. I say 10k (ish) because its gotta be over 7 miles. Maybe 7.5? I couldn’t tell you. We had zero Garmins between us. All I know is I got to what I thought was the half way point, and still had a ways to go. That’s the great thing about trail races: PEOPLE ARE LAID BACK. That doesn’t mean they’re not competitive, they’re just not anxious. Nice and chill. And? WHAT A GREAT RACE! I can’t believe I haven’t run it before. Nice organizers, friendly people, cute T-Shirts and a truly awesome course. What more can you ask for? And I didn’t get lost. WIN! We both had a blast. It was tough, but man was it fun! My Other Half can really Bimble. Me? I’m more of a Basher.

Doing things you love, with people you love. There is simply nothing better! 

Training for Boston…In Boston!

Headed “home” to Boston last weekend to spend Easter with the family and got to do some Boston marathon recon work and take a run on the actual course. My kids were not impressed with our tour of the course, but it was a lot of fun for me. (My kids were even less impressed that this is what passes for fun for me. Teens and tweens. You can’t win.)

Hopkinton Start 2

On Friday, I drove from the Hopkinton start to Heartbreak Hill to get a sense of what the early part of the course looks like, and on Saturday, I ran from Wellesley in to the finish line. I’ve run Heartbreak Hill many times, but never took the course the rest of the way in to Boylston. It was great, and I have a bunch of random bits to share:

  1. There is something about a point-to-point marathon that seems awfully long. 26.2 straight miles just seems longer than a loop. Yikes. When we were driving from Hopkinton to Newton, my 13 year old remarked, “I’m getting bored just driving this course. I can’t believe you have to run it.” Ummm…thanks.2015_bostonmarathon_coursemap
  2.  As I have heard, the starting stretch is indeed narrow, windy and steep. I am going to be lucky to get through it without taking a digger. Thank God my mother has never seen the start, or she would make me wear a mouthguard. All joking aside, it freaked me out a little bit. I’m the perfect size for getting knocked over. I’ve always wanted to be perfect at something, and apparently, this is what God chose for me.
  3. There is still snow in Boston, but fortunately not on the roads. Unfortunately, the roads are a MESS. Pothole city and lots of frost heaves with huge craters. I feel terrible for the city workers in the various towns who are working on getting the roads ready for the race – they have their work cut out for them. After a winter of hell. God Bless Them. And if they aren’t able to finish in time, then I feel terrible for me.
  4. The Boston Marathon is such a big freaking deal in Boston. For the first few miles of the course route, the fire hydrants are painted in BAA colors. The painted start and finish lines on the roads are permanent (although freshly painted every year) and there are already signs up about “Marathon Monday.” Got me very excited!
  5. Training for Boston in Boston must be EPIC! When I ran the Wellesley-Newton-Brookline section of the course on Saturday, there were at least another 100 or so people on the course, most of whom were with teams or wore BAA shirts. Several running clubs set up tables along the Newton stretch of Commonwealth Avenue with “Free Watah” for the “Runnahs.” Yes, that is exactly what their signs said. The energy on the course was incredible, and training teams had already put up “Right on Hereford, Left on Boylston” signs.

    So we don't get lost.
    So we don’t get lost.
  6. There were a lot of members of the Martin Richard team – Team MR8 – and it was both inspiring and heartbreaking to see them out there.
  7. The hills of Newton are, well, hilly? The one foot in front of the other method will be my strategy. And I’m glad I live in a hilly area. If the hills came earlier in the course, I don’t think they would be such a big deal. They were miles 6-9 of my run on Saturday and were no problem. The problem is that they start just before mile 18 on the full course. By mile 18, you’re kind of tuckered. And by the time you finish them at mile 21, you’re a shell of your former self.
  8. This was my last double digit run before the race and I couldn’t help but think that I should have used a formal training plan. Yes, I know it is a little late. And no, I’m not going to start one now. Just a realization to file away for my next race, whenever that may be. I don’t know if I would be in better shape physically if I followed a set plan, but I do think that I’d be in a better place mentally. More on this in another post.
  9. There is a definite technique to running downhills without killing your quads, and I don’t think I have figured it out yet. I have done many google searches in the past few weeks on downhill running, but probably not enough actual practice to grasp the technique. Note to self: a marathon is not a 9th grade history test. I’m pretty sure you can’t “cram” for it. I suspect I will confirm this on the 20th.
  10. For a bazillion years I have stood at the top of Heartbreak Hill and yelled to runners, “It’s all downhill from here!” This is just not true. I’m mortified. You have to run over the Mass Pike overpass at mile 25, and just before Hereford, there is a small incline that probably feels like Everest at that point. I am clearly a lying liar who lied. Apologies to all. I will never say it again.
  11. If the narrow, windy start doesn’t kill me, there is a good chance that the several stretches of the course where the roads are covered in trolley tracks will. God help me if it is a wet day. I am more than capable of falling on dry pavement – I can’t imagine running across wet iron tracks.

    These types of tracks greet you at a few places on the course.
    These types of tracks greet you at a few places on the course.
  12. The few blocks of Boylston between Hereford and the finish seem like a marathon in themselves. I thought city blocks were supposed to be short?
  13. You just don’t get more Masshole than running down Boylston Street, listening to Boston (Rock & Roll Band) on your headphones, training for Boston, while wearing a Red Sox hat. Aaaah…Home Sweet Home! You can take the girl out of Boston…
  14. There is no sweeter place to finish any run than here:



twerkkidBig Spartany CONGRATULATIONS to DANIELLE who won herself a free entry to any Spartan Race in the continental US!! I emailed her this morning and am pleased to report she is STOKED. Well wasn’t that exciting?!!! It was for us. Awww. Our first real giveaway. Gotta admit. I’m kinda choked up. I feel like This Little Blog has graduated. We might be in kindergarten now. Or straight up 1st grade. *wipes tear*

What’s next for us? Here’s a few bits of randomness. 

Tonight’s Good Fortune!

  1. Uhhhhh. Somebody is tapering for Boston…and it ain’t me! I am so, so excited to cheer on my BFF and Blogging Partner in crime, Tina as Little Miss Boston heads home to run The Marathon in mere days. I’ll be the fool screaming and crying her head off when she trots by. Seriously. We are talking full on scene up in here. THAT’S MY GIRL!  My strong, amazing friend.  I am proud of her already. *wipes tear* 
    Boston Strong.
  2. I am busy aging this week. I’ve gotta birthday limping on up this weekend. After receiving my InsideTracker Inner Age Results last week, I fear my AARP card will be arriving via FedEx on Friday. WHAT. THE. EFF. I’m still trying to pick my jaw up off of the floor after that one. I am working on the post with all of my InsideTracker Results. Never fear. The Big Reveal is coming. And it ain’t pretty. *wipes tear*
    Happy Birthday Colby! Courtesy of Tina.
  3. File this bit of randomness under: AWESOME. I was milling around on our stats page and started reading the How People Find You section. And? Someone found our Little Blog by searching “Beagle Ass.”  Yes. Beagle. Ass. I’ve gotta tell Evil Beagle she has arrived! That is THE funniest goddamn thing that has happened all week. And it’s only Wednesday. I can’t stop laughing.  *wipes tear*
    Four Paws.
    Beagle Ass.

Anyone heading to Boston for The Big Show? We’ll be there! 

The Friday Five! It’s All Good.

Well look at us go!  Big week for us in Bloggerville! First, we have an actual giveaway (WIN A FREE SPARTAN RACE!) and link up with with SD Mom and Erica Finds on their weekly Wednesday Giveaway Special!  And second, we have FINALLY linked up with 3 of our favorite bloggers Cynthia @ You Signed Up for What?, Mar @ Mar on the Run and Courtney @ Eat, Pray, Run DC, for their Friday Five. The Topic? 5 Good Things!

Sweet Cadbury Crème Eggs.  Dare I say we’ve grown up?snow white SNL

The Friday Five: 5 Good Things That Happened This Week!

  1. Sunshine! Ah YAAASSSS! Mr. Sun has finally reared his gorgeous, yellow head. And as a result?  The snow is melting. The temps are warmer. The birds are chirping. The buds on the trees are forming. And Colby and Tina are finally starting to get HAPPY! I should just stop this post right there. That’s Five Stellar Things! Winter has been a bit much for those of us in the frozen North East. Like. Way too effen much. And while my fireplace is still smoldering, the feeling of the sun on my face has been GLORIOUS. Instant mood booster. Phew. I was losing it.Hello Gorgeous
  2. Runch! That would be Run at Lunch. AND IT HAPPENED THIS WEEK!  It actually happened several times!  Total GOOD THING!  I ran and ran. In less and less clothes. (Wait. That sounds dirty.) I was able to bust out my new Janji duds during my lunch time runs and I even managed to hit the trails this week too. Without snowshoes. Fantastic!Run For Another!
  3. Sleep! Well smack my ass and call me Rip Van Winkle! Guess who has slept soundly for 5 consecutive nights? THIS GIRL!  This isn’t a Good Thing. It’s the BEST THING. I feel like a newborn baby who’s done teething.  I am winning the sleep war! And for the first time in at least 6 months, I am feeling refreshed. Sleepus Interruptus NO MORE!  My new bed, my lack of “screens” before bed time and a little bit of meditation and yoga— all helping TREMENDOUSLY. I have been trying to make sleep a priority and it’s definitely working. It’s also no coincidence that my lack of sleep directly correlates to the amount of stress in my life. Low stress = Sweet Dreams. Such a good thing.sleepy
  4. News! Evil Beagle. I have mentioned my Tri-Colored Furnace a few times on the blog, always in a silly, loving light. Her real name is Pearl Anne Marie (Marie, is her Confirmation name which she rarely uses). She is an absolute riot. She is a former research beagle whom I adopted years ago. I love her to pieces. I have two dogs and I love them both to the 100th power. Pearl Anne and Leon James, my two loves. Two Peas in the Proverbial Pod. And no, she’s not really Evil. Although if she could take over the world, I’m quite certain she would. The Beages recently had a lump on her elbow which I had removed. That’s the Good Thing. I had it removed. It’s gone. And so is the cancer they found in it. Paws crossed it stays Good. This is my Glass Half Full view which I have embraced lately. I’m hoping that sticks around too. GOOD THINGS, People. Good Things.Evil Beagle
  5. Knowledge! I haven’t had a good run lately. And yes, that is both literal and figurative. Between the dreary weather, stress, lack of sleep and the legitimate cancer scare that I had a few months ago, I have been a wreck. A. Wreck. STOP. Just STOP.  My skin is a mess. My hormones are off. My running stinks. (Sit tight, I’m getting to the Good Part. Promise.) I hate feeling this way. And in an effort to Take Back The Colby, I am being proactive about my health. So this week, I scheduled an intervention. A health intervention. I did it through a company called InsideTracker. InsideTracker is a health analytics company which takes a look at different biochemical and physiological markers in your blood and determines your personalized optimal zones for each marker. I know. It’s a mouthful. In short, the goal is to empower yourself with information you need to manage and optimize your health. Via food. Via supplements. Via lifestyle changes. Knowledge is power, People! And that’s a GOOD THING! So. I had my blood drawn. And I got my results. {YIPES.} That’s a post for another day. Not necessary a 5 GOOD THINGS! More like 5 THINGS YOU NEED TO TAKE CONTROL OF SISTER!  And post it, I will. It was a total wake up call- which is also a Good Thing. Stay tuned. It’s a doozy.Truth

What Good Things happened to you this week? Has Spring finally sprung in your neck of the woods? Are you tired of your Own Self?

Reebok Spartan Race GIVEAWAY! AROO! AROO!

amypoehler excitedPretend I just yelled that in my best Oprah voice. Cuz I just did. #truestory

Let’s be honest. Who doesn’t love a FREE RACE? Better yet. A FREE SPARTAN RACE! I’ll tell you who does. THIS GIRL!

spartan 492 2
Colby. 2014 Fenway Spartan Sprint. Running like a Crazy Pants. Clearly, I’m not having ANY fun. Like, at all.

Yup. You read that right. I am happy to announce that we are giving away ONE Reebok Spartan Race Entry to ANY Spartan Race in the continental US!  IMG_0526A very kind and generous Spartan reached out to Tina and I and offered you, our Badass Readers, a chance to SPARTAN IT UP.  Damn. That’s a whole lotta savings up in there. For reals. Races ain’t cheap. And you know how Tina and I love us some Spartan Races. Relive the glory of our Fenway Spartan Sprint HERE. It was EPIC.

There are 3 Spartan Race options or “The Trifecta” in Spartan Speak:

  1. Spartan Sprint: 3+ miles with 15+ obstacles
  2. Spartan Super: 8+ miles with 20+ obstacles
  3. Spartan Beast: 12+ miles with 25+ obstacles

See? There’s something for everyone. And they’re all over the country! Spartan has options, People. Challenging, amazing, “Show ’em What You’re Made Of” options. In fact, I am SERIOUSLY considering doing the Spartan Tri State New Jersey Beast on April 18th!  Tina will be tapering and freaking out about running the Boston Marathon and wouldn’t DARE run a Spartan Beast 2 days before Boston. Girlfriend is nuts. But not certifiable. The Tri State New Jersey Beast sound like just that— A DAMN BEAST!  12 miles of crazy climbing, over 20 obstacles, 4500′ elevation, single track, and one big old ski mountain to run wild on!  AROO IS RIGHT! 728x90_TriState

Feel like you’re Spartan Enough? ENTER OUR RAFFLECOPTER GIVEAWAY to win! And if you don’t win?

Use coupon code: SPARTANBLOGGER to get 10% off of any race!

May the odds be ever in your favor! :-)
Enter our Spartan Race Rafflecopter giveaway!

Linking up with SD Mom and Erica Finds on their weekly Wednesday Giveaway Special! Check out their pages. They are overflowing with fantastic giveaways!

Spring THIS.

Middle Fingers in the Air

Vernal Equinox MY ASS.

I’m looking out my window this very second. And guess what? IT’S SNOWING.

{Throws self on floor. Screams like banshee.}

Yup. Snowing. And sticking. Oh, I can’t wait for the commute home. It will be Shit Show Commute #28 of the season.


I’m losing it. I know I’m not the only one who will be shoveling 5 inches of snow tonight. I know I’m not the only one who will be strapping on my Yak Trax, throwing on my stinking mittens, and heading out in the snow for a run- whenever the hell time I get home. I know this is a total whiny, cry baby, #firstworldproblems quick post, but for the love of Spring, GIVE A RUNNER A BREAK. All I want to do is RUN. Without falling. Preferably in shorts. My legs look like something from a V.C Andrews novel. (Note: I would have zero trouble being cast as the daughter in a ‘Flower’s in the Attic’ remake. I am ghastly.)

It’s all making me miserable. And I’m just at the point where I’m ready, and I mean really ready to kick up my training. I am pumped for the year ahead. Yes, I know it’s March. But honestly, the first 3 months of 2015 were a wash. My 2015 started a few weeks ago. Truth. I am finally planning my racing schedule now that I’m “In the Clear.”  I am also in the process of sorting out my eating, sleeping, and training as well. BIG CHANGES UP IN HERE!  It’s going to be a whole “Colby Reboot” of sorts. (Stay tuned. It will be colorful, I am sure. :-) ) For now? I just want some damn snow free pavement. Some beautiful trails. Some trees with buds on them. Maybe some grass? Hell. It doesn’t even have to be green.


In the meantime, take a look at this RIDICULOUS nonsense from The Onion. It made me giggle. Then I looked out the window, and wept.

What’s the weather like where you are right this minute? Have you ever stomped around like a petulant child when the weather didn’t go your way? Whatcha got on tap this weekend?

Sleepus Interruptus.

Here’s how last night went:Sleepy Time

2:01 am: Evil Beagle, the tricolored furnace, has wedged herself between me and My Other Half. I’m on the leg side. She is rigid, paws digging into my collar bones. We are eye to eye. She is snoring as if she is a morbidly obese drunk man with sleep apnea. She weighs 23 lbs. I shove her. She rolls over, entangled in my duvet. She’s a Beagle-rito. I have zero covers. I am freezing.

3:17 am: Evil Beagle and her deviated septum are by our feet. My Other Half is in the throes of a bad dream. In it, he is Manny Pacquiao. And this is a Title Fight. He is punching me and talking in tongues. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I swear at him loudly. Punch back. He mutters he loves me, and blows an air kiss. He rolls over, still sleeping soundly. I have zero covers. I am freezing.

4:32 am:  The Good Dog is up. He is ticky-tacking all over the hard wood floor. I debate clipping his nails at that very moment. I don’t know where the clipper is. He sighs loudly. Life is so tough. He flops back down onto his million dollar tempur-pedic dog bed, and begins to give his undercarriage a bit of a wash. I am in hell. Only I can’t be, because I am freezing.

5:53 am. “Wake-up” to some sort of critter running fartleks. WHAT THE HELL? Is it on the roof? Is in the wall? Did baby critters just hatch? I’m freaking out. The Good Dog growls, runs down the hall way. It’s outside. I’m on the front lawn in my jammies wrapped in a leopard blanket looking at a squirrel about to pull a Flying Wallenda onto the feeder. Is there a hidden camera somewhere? AM I BEING PUNKED?!  Good Dog barks wildly then proceeds to pee on the tree which houses the feeder. You know, for good measure. It does the trick. Squirrel aborts mission. Peace has been restored.

5:59 am. I’m up. And have been. I pour myself a gallon of coffee and pad off into the shower, bleary eyed.

Amount of sleep:  Next to nil.

This has been the story of my life lately.  And guess what? It’s catching up with me. I am a haggard zombie. Even my skin looks tired. I have zero energy and my runs have been feeling it too. They’re “Meh” at best with dead tired legs.  If my legs had eyes, there would be two X’s in place of eyeballs. They’re tuckered.  I have had a negligible amount of sleep for MONTHS. First, it was because of stress, which I am happy to report ended with a big ol’ bouquet of good news. (Relive the joy, here.) And now? Other than last night’s MMA fight circus? It still isn’t back to normal. It’s not for lack of trying either.

I have tried to get my sleep back on track with some minor success. I popped melatonin, drank chamomile tea, cut back on caffeine, and took warm Epsom salt baths with lavender before bed time, all in a bid for Sweet Dreams. Despite the best of intentions, The Sand Man Lost.  Never being one to have sleep issues, I had naively assumed this disruption was transient. When stress went away, sleep would snuggle back in.  Oh no, Poodle.  That hasn’t been the story. Christ. I even bought a new mattress which is RIDICULOUSLY comfortable. I just need to get Princess Evil Beagle her own jazzy bed so she keeps her ass off of ours.

I’m just off.  I’m hoping the change of season- longer days, natural sunlight and temps above freezing- all help. I’m also going to take a good hard look at my sleep, diet, training, health- the whole shebang. Something isn’t right. From sleep on down. I feel like I never recovered well from the Ultra I ran SIX DAMN MONTHS AGO. That’s just pathetic. I’m just kind of broken. And I need a fix. STAT.

Do you feel like a Sleepy Slug lately? How many hours of sleep do you get per night? Has your bunk mate ever punched you in their sleep? Sheesh.  

3 Deadly Running Sins

dead-last If a Running Fairy came down off her podium in glittery running shoes, and told you that you MUST choose between Not Starting, Not Finishing or Coming in Dead Effen Last in your next race, what would you chose? What is the lesser of the 3 Deadly Running Sins? Welp. I was granted a wish that I didn’t even ask for, and am still recovering from. That damn Running Fairy granted me a Did Not Start. And a touch of what I can only believe was ameobic dystnetery. Or food poisioning. Or cholera for that matter. Whhhhhyyyyyy?!nancy kerrigan

It sucked.

For the first time in my running history, I Did Not Start. Not because I didn’t register. Not because I wasn’t trained and ready. Not because I was sucked into a House of Cards Netflix Binge and couldn’t get my can off of the couch, I didn’t start because I woke up with an epic stomach bug the morning of the race. A half marathon on snow shoes was NOT happening. Chills. Watery mouth. Sweats. Pains. And two other issues not fit for print.


Even though I willed myself to get over it, strap on my snowshoes and run the half marathon I had trained for, I just couldn’t. Hard. Stop.  Maybe if I hooked up an IV and dragged a porta potty behind me? Screw it. It just wasn’t happening. And my body knew it. What a disappointment. I actually dragged my green self to the race to cheer on my friends, hoping that by the time we got there, I would have rallied. {Uh. No.}  Instead, I froze to death sipping water by a bonfire, while they snow shoed their hearts out. AND IT KILLED ME. I had a one way ticket to Bummerville. {Sad Colby.}

All scenarios are pretty dismal. Although I am trying to discern which is the worst:

  •  Dead Effen Last laments: Oh, Honey. At least you tried. Here’s a medal, an ice bath and a hug.
  • Did Not Finish barks: There better be bloodshed, or a major catastrophic physical event, YOU WEAKLING! SYSTEM FAILURE! SYSTEM FAILURE! ABORT! ABORT! {With flashing lights, a stretcher and a hot ER doctor.}
  • Did Not Start gently whispers : Shit, Girl. It just wasn’t your day. Here’s a pint of Chubby Hubby for when you can keep it down. Now go take those snow shoes off, sit your dehydrated self on the couch, and quietly weep.

They’re all bad. They’re all a runner’s nightmare. Sometimes it just doesn’t go your way. No matter how prepared. No matter how excited. No matter how ready. Pull your Achilles during an ultra (here), and DAMMIT, YOU WILL FINISH.  Even if you have to crawl. Have an allergic reaction the night before your marathon (here), wake up looking like a pufferfish and DAMMIT, YOU ARE RUNNING.  Wake up with a VIOLENT stomach bug before running a half marathon up a mountain on snow shoes and DAMMIT, GAME OVER. One bad stomach bug can ruin your day. And piss you the hell off.

Next time I’m packing a white flag to wave, just in case.

DNF, DNS or DFL? What’s the worst Race Day story you’ve got?