We are gathered here today
2 get through this thing called…
What. Too soon?
Oh, Prince. Such very sad news. Heart breaking. The guy was a genius. And Purple Rain was the first R-rated movie I ever saw. I thought I was soooooo cool afterwards. I even tried to make Apollonia my middle name but my Mom wasn’t having it. I have been listening to and singing Prince all week. It’s on repeat in my head and on shuffle on my iPhone. “Let’s Go Crazy” has been officially added to my “Run Fast Colby!” playlist. Unfortunately, Colby Running Fast has not been on repeat. It’s been on skip.
I actually contemplated hanging up my Hoka’s this week. I’m not even fooling. Hang ’em up and put on my new cycling kicks and ride off into the sunset. Screw it. I’m gonna ride bikes instead. I’m done. I had- hands down– THE worst series of runs I have ever had. EVER. Worse than when I started running which was pretty much the day after I saw Purple Rain which was about 100 years ago. My agony started last Sunday.
Hey, I think I'm gonna run 10 super hilly miles, totally dehydrated and with a crabby hamstring. – Said The Dumbest Runner Ever. At least she's still smiling! #ItWasTooNiceOut #dumb #sundayfunday #run #runner #rundone #runventure #womensrunningcommunity #runnerscommunity #runnersofinstagram #runjanji #skratchlabs #hokaoneone #fit #fitfam #fitness #instarunner @womensrunningcommunity @inspiringwomenrunners @runnersofinstagram @instarunners
Don’t let the smile fool you. I was happy to have made it to my driveway. Dumbest run ever. 10 miles. Hilliest route on earth. Dehydrated. Mildly hung over. And one bitchy hamstring did not make for an epic run. It made for a sufferfest. I decided on this route as a sort of litmus test. A Where Am I Starting? The answer is right at the goddamn bottom. I couldn’t get out of my own way. I shuffled my pathetic ass up a series of 4 hills, one longer and more annoying than the next. When did this route get so hard? Am I this out of shape? I didn’t think I was. But now? Gah. I’m a hot mess.
So like any runner, I ran the next day. And the next. Both of which were no better than Sunday’s Suck Fest. The next I rode my bike. And had a big old talk with myself. It went like this:
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.
I wish I was paraphrasing. I need to clean up the edges. I need to get serious. I need to see where I’m really starting because I feel like a broken down Yugo. My InsideTracker profile needs a definite update. Hello, Retest! I need to focus on something other than my former job. Like my new one! That tired old stress needs to leave the building, specifically my legs so I can move them with purpose again. My former situation was crippling in more ways than one. Onward and upward! A bike ride always puts things into perspective for me. Sometimes in a way that running doesn’t. Besides, all Running told me was to stop. Who wants to hear that shit when you’re trying to chug a big old pint of Motivation?
So I ignored what Running was telling me. And continued on the rest of the week. After a few moderately better #runventures (and one ill advised mountain bike ride with My Other Half, Drunk Otis, a bloody Achilles and a goddamn massive contusion on my hip), I began to fall into a rhythm. There you are Running! My Old Familiar Rhythm. And here I thought I’d lost you. I decided Saturday night, after icing my hip and cleaning my wounds, that I would re-run The Dreaded 4 Hilled Route. I woke up like it was race day. Hydrated. Well rested. Nary a hang over in sight. And this time?
Are we gonna let the elevator
Bring us down
Oh, no let’s go!
All I needed was an invisible jet and a goddamn lasso.
Have you ever seriously contemplated hanging up your running kicks? What’s the longest stretch of horrible runs you’ve ever had? What was the first R-rated movie you ever saw?